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Band 4.5

In some areas of the USA, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

#areas #usa #‘curfew’ #teenagers #doors #time #night #adult
Going out of children had limited in the states of
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
. They can not leave their home
a
Change preposition
at a
show examples
particular
time
 at night. They may come out with any older people
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
 relations. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 it is a good idea
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because reduces juvenile delinquency.
Additionally
Add a comma
Additionally,
show examples
 teenagers spend more evenings at home with family and do exercises. On the one hand, around the
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
 there are various juvenile
delinquency
Fix the agreement mistake
delinquents
show examples
 in these years.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 humans face
to so
Rephrase
apply
show examples
many causes
juvenile
Change preposition
of juvenile
show examples
 crime
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
due to
 the increase in family violence. It shows an
inclinations
Correct the article-noun agreement
inclination
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 to abuse their children and treat them as an outlet
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 stress. If leaves
youngs
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
 or teenagers
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they can do anything
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they want to do. In my opinion limits of miners
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the best for them. Because
this
 limit reduces risks not only
younger
Change preposition
for younger
show examples
 but only
adults
Change preposition
for adults
show examples
.
Additionally
Add a comma
Additionally,
show examples
 children can be close
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 family
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 some teenagers who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
orphan
Fix the agreement mistake
orphans
show examples
 or there are
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 older people in their house, have
tendency
Correct article usage
a tendency
show examples
 and
risks
Fix the agreement mistake
risk
show examples
 for crime. So
that
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 limits are excellent.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 many
youngs
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
 waste of
time
 in the streets ( or computer clubs, bars or other clubs) .
However
, they have a lot of homework and other
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
at home, they do not save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
 so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they come across some problems. If they spend leisure
time
 for lessons and their family. Maybe there are good sides for adolescents.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 minors are careful
Change preposition
with themselves
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themselves
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 families.
Additionally
Add a comma
Additionally,
show examples
 they would shape relationships. No doubt , much more reading is
ladder
Add an article
a ladder
the ladder
show examples
 for the future, so that
time
 is as gold and youthful must study. In conclusion, control of
Correct article usage
the youngs
show examples
youngs
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
 is imposed in some states of
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and they have some good sides. In my
view
Add a comma
view,
show examples
 adolescents must be limited when they reach their dream or their
parents
Change noun form
parent's
parents'
show examples
 dream
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure clear and coherent introduction and conclusion, directly addressing the question posed.
logical structure
Organize your essay more logically with clear paragraphing and link ideas more effectively using a wider range of cohesive devices.
supported main points
Develop your main points with more detailed explanations and relevant examples.
complete response
Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring you discuss your opinion in depth alongside possible counterarguments or differing viewpoints.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and elaborate your ideas with more precision, avoiding vagueness or overly general statements.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments, making them more persuasive and informative.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • juvenile delinquency
  • risky behaviors
  • public safety
  • unsupervised
  • instilling discipline
  • sense of responsibility
  • adhere to
  • infringe on
  • resentment
  • rebellion
  • authority figures
  • mistrust
  • generations
  • overly controlled
  • family bonding
  • root causes
  • socio-economic factors
  • recreational facilities
  • enforce effectively
  • law enforcement
  • cooperation
  • community
  • regulations
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