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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that only the best students should be rewarded. Others, however, think that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #students #reward #show #improvements
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Some
people
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 think that only the best
students
Use synonyms
 should be rewarded. Others,
however
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, think that it is more important to reward
students
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 who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Nowadays,
people
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 are arguing about how to evaluate the type of
students
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 who deserve the reward. Some
people
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 emphasise the result and accomplishment, but some tend to pay attention to the process. Personally, I believe both of these two types of
students
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 deserve rewards because, in reality, no one could reach the best but better. On the one hand, the
students
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 who got the greatest grades and significant achievements absolutely should be rewarded.
Due to
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 the contribution they made and the magnificent effort they put in during the process. Give an example
that is
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 well-known by
people
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, the famous scientist Newton who discovered many of the scientific rules hundreds of years ago, which
people
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 are remaining using
it
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apply
show examples
nowadays. He definitely deserves the Nobel Prize he got.
On the other hand
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, there is no reason that
students
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 who tried their best but couldn’t be the best shouldn’t be prized.
Firstly
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 the effort they want to put in is always much more than the improvement they have got indeed, which means it is tough to have the heart to keep pressuring themselves without any rate of return. Another case in point is, that
people
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 can not ignore the scientist who gave a hint to the
people
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 in the future by using all the knowledge they have got but couldn’t achieve the final destination.
Secondly
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, encouragement to those who have been working hard for a long time is essentially important, which not only can be seen as a compliment but
also
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 the hope to let them challenge themselves to be better.
As a result
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, the reward should be given to both of these types of
students
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. There is never only one option type of student to compliment
to
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apply
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that can be given if the school truly want their
students
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 to be better
people
Use synonyms
 for the rest of their lives.
Submitted by l2334993624 on

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task achievement
You should provide more relevant and specific examples to support your views. Real-life examples help in making your arguments more persuasive and relatable.
coherence cohesion
While the overall structure of your essay is good, the logical flow between points can be improved. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next.
coherence cohesion
A clearer and more impactful conclusion can add more weight to your essay. Try to summarize your key points and reaffirm your stance more clearly.
task achievement
You have addressed both views and provided your own opinion, which is crucial for a high task response score.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and the conclusion wraps it up well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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