In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How do we deal with those causes?

In recent years, the
rate has increased significantly around the world, causing widespread concern among the public. In
essay, some reasons for
issue will be discussed, followed by two potential solutions which can be employed to overcome it.
To begin
with, one of the key contributors to the high
rate is poverty and joblessness. Economic disparities can lead to a lack of opportunities, pushing individuals towards criminal activities.
is evident in a statistical report of Canadian National
Prevention which reveals that people from families with an annual income of less than 15,000$ are at 1.5 times greater risk of conducting unlawful actions than those from other higher income groups.
, the growth in the amount of
attributed to the availability of entertainment options with inappropriate content. With the widespread use of the Internet, tons of violent
and movies are uploaded on social media platforms, arousing human curiosity, especially young people, and stimulating them to imitate misconduct. To illustrate, the FBI reported that offenders who were affected by violent computer
contributed to 50% of school shooting cases in the U.S. To solve the problem,
, governments might consider increasing their investment in campaigns aimed at mitigating famine and unemployment.
can be educational programs, training courses and financial aid to struggling families.
For example
, locking down during the COVID-19 pandemic has made many Vietnamese students quit their universities because of financial shortages. Under
circumstances, the Vietnamese government offers them vocational training courses and introduces them to employers after they complete their courses. Thanks to
policy, they can make ends meet to support themselves and their families, avoiding the risk of engaging in unlawful activities.
, it is crucial for governments to have more control over online entertainment forms.
can be done by strictly imposing more rules and regulations on creating content, especially for children, and setting up a legal age to access
content. In conclusion, the rise in
can be driven by poverty and unemployment
as well as
the easy accessibility of violent
and videos which are available online. To deal with
issue, governments should allocate more funds to social programs which emphasize minimizing famine and joblessness. At the same time, it is important to pay more attention to the videos and
which are posted online.
Submitted by nguyenlyacbd on

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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve Coherence & Cohesion, work on connecting your ideas more clearly. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to demonstrate relationships between ideas and paragraphs, thus enhancing the flow of the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are more concise and directly address the essay prompt. This clarity at the beginning and end will strengthen your essay's focus and impact.
Task Achievement
For Task Achievement, ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task. Consider expanding on how each proposed solution could effectively reduce crime, providing more in-depth analysis and evaluation of each solution.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate more diverse and complex sentence structures to convey ideas more effectively. This will not only bolster your argument but also showcase your language proficiency.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic disparity
  • propensity
  • recidivism
  • deterrent
  • rehabilitative
  • judicial system
  • corruption
  • socioeconomic
  • alienation
  • stigmatization
  • decriminalization
  • enforcement
  • gentrification
  • preemptive measures
  • intervention strategies
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