IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

While some believe that the best way to learn about current events is through newspapers, others think that they can learn new better through other forms of media. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some argue that the most outstanding source of
news
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 is the
newspaper
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,
while
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 others argue that different forms of media
such
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 as television,
radio
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, and the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 are more suitable
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outlet
Fix the agreement mistake
outlets
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of
Change preposition
for
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 current affairs.
While
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newspaper
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 offers credibility, I believe that the TV,
radio
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, and the
internet
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 are better
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
Use synonyms
news
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of news
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 because
people
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 can access it anytime. On the one hand,
people
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 can be sure that the information they get
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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from the
newspaper
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 from credible sources. Stories undergo fact-checking before they publish them.
Also
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, they cover stories from background information to multiple
perspective
Change to a plural noun
perspectives
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 of the issues.
This
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 ensures that the reader will get accurate information and will be able to understand every
views
Change to a singular noun
view
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 of the story.
For example
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, the Manila Times is one of the oldest
newspaper
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Use synonyms
outlet
Change to a plural noun
outlets
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 in the Philippines. Even though it was founded more than a century ago, they are still operating
until
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to
show examples
this
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 day.
This
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 proves that
people
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 trust their credibility.
However
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, it will take some time for them to release the
news
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 because the editors have to check it first and it will take some time to print the paper.
On the other hand
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, other forms of media
such
Linking Words
 as television,
radio
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, and the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 are more accessible
Use synonyms
outlet
Fix the agreement mistake
outlets
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 current affairs. They can give
people
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 access to
news
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 everywhere and anywhere. They allow
people
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 to have options and compare different views from
other
Change the wording
another news outlet
other news outlets
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news
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outlet
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.
Also
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, it provides users
real-time
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with real-time
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 updates
of
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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breaking
news
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 and everyone around the globe can access it.
For instance
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, everyone
in
Change preposition
on
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 the planet has a better grasp of the war between Israel and Gaza because of the
news
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in
Change preposition
on
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 television and
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Correct article usage
the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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.
People
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 are able to witness the heart-breaking damage of the war in both countries.
Thus
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, I believe that these sources are better than
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newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
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. In conclusion,
while
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 some argue that paper-print
version
Fix the agreement mistake
versions
show examples
 of
news
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 are more credible, I believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
TV,
radio
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, and social media are the best
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outlet
Fix the agreement mistake
outlets
show examples
 for current events because it is more accessible to individuals.

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Task Achievement
To improve your Task Achievement, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Present a more nuanced discussion of both views and your opinion, ensuring that each view and your opinion are developed with specific, detailed examples that directly support your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on developing a clearer logical structure by using paragraphing effectively. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by examples or explanations. Use transition words to guide the reader through your arguments, enhancing the flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Introductions and conclusions are critical in guiding your reader through your essay. Ensure your introduction sets up the topic and previews your main points. Your conclusion should summarize the discussion and restate your opinion, without introducing new information.
Coherence and Cohesion
Incorporate more supported main points by creating stronger arguments with robust evidence. When discussing views or your opinion, include specific examples, facts, or quotes that substantiate your claims. This strengthens your argument and makes your writing more persuasive.
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