IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Your next door neighbour owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: your reason for writing what you would like to happen a nice, respectful style

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Dear Sir or Madam I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with your dog that barks throughout the day and distracts me every day. I can not pay attention to my studies.
As a result
Linking Words
, I am staying at a library after school to do my homework. After that, my teachers told me that if I
do
Wrong verb form
did
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 not study hard I
can
Wrong verb form
could
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 not graduate the college and
will
Wrong verb form
would
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 not get a job which has a wonderful quality that I
have
Wrong verb form
had
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 been dreaming
in
Change preposition
of
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 my entire life.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 I have two little siblings
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 are afraid
of
Change preposition
apply
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to play outside because of your puppy. I would be grateful if you keep your dog in your house or you should hand over your dog to your cousin who has three children that want to play with your pet. You will take it back when he is old enough to understand everything. I think you can do it. I need more peaceful time to focus on my studies. Please solve the problem as soon as possible. I look forward to your reply and resolution to my problem. Yours faithfully Oqila

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Task Achievement
Ensure to address the neighbour in a more personalized manner if possible, rather than a generic 'Sir or Madam', especially if you are neighbours. This can add a touch of personalization and respect.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider introducing your points in a logical order, ensuring that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use transitional phrases to connect ideas.
Task Achievement
Your letter could include positive statements about understanding the challenges of owning a pet and expressing a willingness to discuss possible solutions together. This could help maintain a respectful and cooperative tone throughout.
Task Achievement
Avoid making assumptions or offering specific solutions like handing the dog over to a cousin, as this might come across as presumptive. Instead, express your concerns and invite your neighbour to discuss possible solutions together.
Coherence & Cohesion
In terms of greeting and closing, make sure the sign-off is appropriately matched with the greeting. For a 'Sir or Madam' salutation, a closing such as 'Yours sincerely' would be more appropriate than 'Yours faithfully,' which is typically used when the recipient's name is known. Additionally, include your full name for a more formal and respectful touch.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • disrupted
  • challenging
  • appreciate
  • solutions
  • training
  • anti-bark collars
  • excessive barking
  • resources
  • well-being
  • distress
  • amicably
  • cooperation
  • concern
  • neighbourly relations
  • understanding
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