Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what pressures should be taken to reduce these pressures.

In recent years, the
pressures
on
children
from academic, social, and commercial sources have significantly increased, impacting their mental and physical well-being.
This
essay explores the causes of these
pressures
and suggests measures to alleviate them. The primary cause of academic pressure stems from the growing competition in the education system and the high expectations from
parents
and society.
Children
are pushed to excel in exams and extracurricular activities, with the belief that success in these areas is crucial for their future. The constant comparison with peers and the fear of not meeting expectations can lead to stress and anxiety among young learners. Social
pressures
have
also
escalated with the advent of social media and digital platforms.
Children
are bombarded with images and messages about how they should look, behave, and interact with others. The desire to fit in and be accepted by peers can create a sense of inadequacy and lower self-esteem.
Furthermore
, the anonymity of the internet can lead to cyberbullying, adding another layer of stress that
children
have to contend with. Commercial
pressures
arise from aggressive advertising targeting
children
, promoting materialism and creating unrealistic desires. Advertisements often portray a certain lifestyle or products as essential for happiness or social acceptance, leading
children
to pressure their
parents
into buying them.
This
commercial influence not only strains the financial resources of families but
also
distracts
children
from more meaningful pursuits and values. To reduce these
pressures
, a multifaceted approach is necessary. Schools and
parents
should foster a more supportive and less competitive environment, emphasizing the value of learning and personal growth over mere academic achievement. Education systems could benefit from incorporating stress management and emotional intelligence into the curriculum, helping
children
navigate their feelings and
pressures
healthily. Socially,
parents
and educators need to teach
children
critical thinking skills to navigate social media and digital content critically. Encouraging open conversations about the unrealistic standards and negative aspects of social media can help
children
develop a healthier self-image and reduce the pressure to conform. From a commercial perspective, there should be stricter regulations on advertising targeted at
children
.
Parents
play a crucial role in instilling values that counteract materialism, teaching
children
the importance of experiences over possessions, and fostering a sense of gratitude and contentment. In conclusion, the
pressures
faced by
children
from academic, social, and commercial sources are multifaceted and deeply rooted in the structures of contemporary society.
While
these
pressures
are challenging to eliminate overnight, a concerted effort from
parents
, educators, and policymakers can significantly alleviate their impact. By addressing these
pressures
holistically, society can help foster a healthier, more balanced environment for
children
to grow and thrive.
Submitted by ayeshaf1339 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction & Conclusion
To improve your score, ensure your essay has a clear introduction that outlines the topic and presents a thesis statement that introduces your main ideas. This helps to set a clear direction for your essay.
Logical Structure
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point or aspect of the topic. Use topic sentences to introduce each paragraph's main idea, and ensure there's a logical flow from one paragraph to the next by using transitional phrases.
Supporting Main Points
Support your main points with specific examples and detailed explanations. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates a deeper understanding of the topic. Avoid generic statements and strive to provide concrete, relevant examples.
Complete Response
Address the task directly by answering both parts of the question. Ensure you clearly discuss the causes of pressures on children and suggest specific measures to reduce these pressures. This shows a comprehensive understanding and complete response to the prompt.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Present your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Make your arguments easy to follow by structuring your sentences and paragraphs in a logical manner. Avoid overly complex sentence structures that may obscure your points.
Relevant & Specific Examples
Incorporate relevant, specific examples to support your arguments. Examples demonstrate your understanding of the topic and show how your ideas apply in real-world contexts. Ensure your examples are directly related to the points you're making.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: