Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed,rather than work for a company or organisations. Why might this be the case? What could be disadvantages of being self-employed?

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In
this
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twenty-first century, an increasing number of individuals prefer to do their own jobs
instead
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of working under certain entities
such
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as firms and corporations and the main reasons
of
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for
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this
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are the stress-free environment and the
flexibilty
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flexibility
of working hours. Many prefer being entrepreneurs over working under a firm so that they can have the opportunity to maintain their offices in a peaceful environment by not receiving numerous orders from their managers. The easy-going conditions made by not ruled by a superior director
allows
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allow
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humans to
do
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apply
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perform their practices in a better way and
creates
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create
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a relaxed area.
In addition
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to
this
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, people who run their own
business
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are able to determine the hours they want to work and
this
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not only increases productivity because of the different types of people
,
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apply
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but
also
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prevents job hatred, which many experience on a daily basis.
One
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thread of self-employment is the risk of getting too relaxed and
as a result
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of that, ruining the
business
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they run.
This
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may destroy
one
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's life savings in
a
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the
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short term because too much flexibility can lead to laziness, and
this
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can lead to unsuccessful
enterprice
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enterprise
attempts. Another downside is the type of life insurance self-employed people have.
Usually
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Usually,
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health
protection
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funds are more beneficial for
employeers
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employers
employees
who
works
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work
show examples
under certain organisations and self-paid humans generally do not have the opportunity to reach those standards of
protection
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by paying
the
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apply
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similar numbers. In Turkey,
for example
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, there are two different health
protection
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entities:
one
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is for
employeers
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employees
employers
of certain bodies, and
one
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is for ones that embody their own job, and many choose to stick with their employer to benefit
the
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from the
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protection
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it gives.
Although
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Correct article usage
a stressfree
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stressfree
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stress-free
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environment and customizable work schedule may benefit and encourage individuals to run their own
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business
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businesses
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,
risk
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the risk
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of not
succeding
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succeeding
show examples
the
business
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and having inadequate health insurance are two main disadvantages to consider .
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure an even development of ideas throughout the essay. Your introduction and body paragraphs are well-structured, but the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing both the benefits and drawbacks of being self-employed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on making your essay's structure more pronounced. Using clearer and more frequent paragraphing would help your ideas stand out more distinctly. Transition words between paragraphs could also improve the flow of your argument.
Task Achievement
Expand on the examples provided to support your points more fully. While you mention the case of Turkey regarding health insurance, further detail or additional examples would strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
To enhance clarity and persuasiveness, consider presenting counterarguments or alternative viewpoints, albeit briefly. This will provide a more rounded perspective on the topic, showing a critical engagement with the question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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