Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed,rather than work for a company or organisations. Why might this be the case? What could be disadvantages of being self-employed?

In
this
twenty-first century, an increasing number of individuals prefer to do their own jobs
instead
of working under certain entities
such
as firms and corporations and the main reasons
of
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for
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this
are the stress-free environment and the
flexibilty
Correct your spelling
flexibility
of working hours. Many prefer being entrepreneurs over working under a firm so that they can have the opportunity to maintain their offices in a peaceful environment by not receiving numerous orders from their managers. The easy-going conditions made by not ruled by a superior director
allows
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allow
show examples
humans to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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perform their practices in a better way and
creates
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create
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a relaxed area.
In addition
to
this
, people who run their own
business
are able to determine the hours they want to work and
this
not only increases productivity because of the different types of people
,
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apply
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but
also
prevents job hatred, which many experience on a daily basis.
One
thread of self-employment is the risk of getting too relaxed and
as a result
of that, ruining the
business
they run.
This
may destroy
one
's life savings in
a
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the
show examples
short term because too much flexibility can lead to laziness, and
this
can lead to unsuccessful
enterprice
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enterprise
attempts. Another downside is the type of life insurance self-employed people have.
Usually
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Usually,
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health
protection
funds are more beneficial for
employeers
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employers
employees
who
works
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work
show examples
under certain organisations and self-paid humans generally do not have the opportunity to reach those standards of
protection
by paying
the
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apply
show examples
similar numbers. In Turkey,
for example
, there are two different health
protection
entities:
one
is for
employeers
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employees
employers
of certain bodies, and
one
is for ones that embody their own job, and many choose to stick with their employer to benefit
the
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from the
show examples
protection
it gives.
Although
Correct article usage
a stressfree
show examples
stressfree
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stress-free
show examples
environment and customizable work schedule may benefit and encourage individuals to run their own
business
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businesses
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,
risk
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the risk
show examples
of not
succeding
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succeeding
show examples
the
business
and having inadequate health insurance are two main disadvantages to consider .
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure an even development of ideas throughout the essay. Your introduction and body paragraphs are well-structured, but the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing both the benefits and drawbacks of being self-employed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on making your essay's structure more pronounced. Using clearer and more frequent paragraphing would help your ideas stand out more distinctly. Transition words between paragraphs could also improve the flow of your argument.
Task Achievement
Expand on the examples provided to support your points more fully. While you mention the case of Turkey regarding health insurance, further detail or additional examples would strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
To enhance clarity and persuasiveness, consider presenting counterarguments or alternative viewpoints, albeit briefly. This will provide a more rounded perspective on the topic, showing a critical engagement with the question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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