success is determined by handwork, and luck has no relation to success.providing specific examples and reasons to support your position do you agree or disagree with this idea

In
this
moden
Correct your spelling
modern
world, being
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
has different factors between people.
Although
some individuals believe that
success
is determined by working hard, it is deemed by others that
luck
has no relation to
success
. I completely agree that
luck
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
relation
Replace the word
related
show examples
to
success
. There are some reasons that show why
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
is a decisive factor for
success
.
Firstly
, if we try hard to achieve our goals and have an exact plan for our future, we will
definietly
Correct your spelling
definitely
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
.
For instance
, we decide to exercise more to shape our body and go to a gym. After several
month
Change to a plural noun
months
show examples
we can see some progress in our
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
which shows how
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
is
efective
Correct your spelling
effective
.
Secondly
, sometimes we work hard but we cannot see
ant
Correct your spelling
any
show examples
changes in
ourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
show examples
such
as learning a new
languages
Correct the article-noun agreement
language
show examples
which needs more
patient
Replace the word
patience
show examples
and consistency.
Change preposition
For
show examples
in
Change preposition
For
show examples
this
reason we might not see many changes in
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
show examples
ourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
show examples
while
we learn new things and we cannot see
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
clearly. These reasons can be overlooked because there is
more
Add an article
a more
the more
show examples
imperative factor which is called
luck
.
However
,
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
is a great subject to
success
, sometimes
luck
can create a great opportunity for us and we have to take
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
.
For example
, in
soccer
Add an article
a soccer
show examples
match some goals
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
been scored
accidently
Correct your spelling
accidentally
by players which leads to winning a game.
Although
sometimes everything is equal, some opportunities can be provided by
luck
and it can change everything.
Likewise
,
luck
can ease the way that you want to reach. Sometimes you are not in your best situation and
then
you see your opponents are not in a good mood and you can achieve what you want
in least
Change the article
in the least
show examples
energy
such
as
exams
Change preposition
in exams
show examples
and
also
in some sports
competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
show examples
. All things
considerd
Correct your spelling
considered
,
Although
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
can be
rally
Correct your spelling
really
show examples
effective for being
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
,
luck
can be a great reason to achieve our goal more easily in different conditions.
Submitted by arman802001 on

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task achievement
Consider revising your introduction and conclusion to more clearly state your position and summarize your argument. A clear thesis statement at the end of the introduction and a concise summary in the conclusion can greatly enhance your essay's effectiveness.
coherence cohesion
Work on logical structure by organizing your paragraphs more effectively. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea followed by supporting details. Use transition words to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay to correct spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'moden' (modern), 'definietly' (definitely), and 'ant' (any). These errors can distract from your argument and lower your score.
task achievement
You've done well to provide examples to support your arguments. Continue to refine and expand on these examples to make them more persuasive and relevant to your main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Diligence
  • Persistent
  • Expertise
  • Recognition
  • The Matthew Effect
  • Achievement
  • Correlation
  • Thesis
  • Anecdotes
  • Merit
  • Fortitude
  • Perseverance
  • Opportunity
  • Tenacity
  • Drive
  • Ambition
  • Luck
  • Chance
  • Fate
  • Destiny
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