Nowadays, a large amount of advertising is aimed at children, so some people think there are lots of negative effects on children, and should ban it. To what extent you agree or disagree?

#amount #children #people #lots #effects #ban

Children

are future leaders of our society.

Hence

everyone has

Correct article usage

the responsiblity

show examples

responsiblity

Correct your spelling

responsibility

on their shoulders to teach good things and keep them healthy.

However

, nowadays

advertisements

are

aiming

Wrong verb form

aimed

show examples

the

children

for their profit sake.

This

essay will discuss the negative impacts of

Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

children

and provide

the

Correct article usage

show examples

concluding view. Nowadays

advertisements

such

as spoiling the

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

health , misguding or misrepresentation of social norms and reducing their ability

of judging

Replace the preposition

to judge

show examples

. When it comes to

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

health,

advertisements

showing

Wrong verb form

show

show examples

fantasy things rather than showing the actual effect on

human

Add an article

the human

show examples

body which leads to serious

health related

Add a hyphen

health-related

show examples

diseases in the early stage.

Futher

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

advertisements

are influencing the kids and changing their behaviours which is not remmondeable since it would collapse the social structures. I strongly recommend

to ban

Change the verb form

banning

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

advertisements

aiming

Wrong verb form

aimed

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

, especially

whoever

Correct pronoun usage

those

show examples

below 5 years old. Because they would

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

easily get attracted to the products

whichever promoting

Wrong verb form

that are promoted

show examples

through the media and consume those food products without knowing the actual consequences.

Further

advertisements

showing

Wrong verb form

show

show examples

different

set

Fix the agreement mistake

sets

show examples

of behaviours and

children

are not in the position to judge and understand the correct social norms.

Further

, large amounts of

advertisements

ultimately affect their intellectual skills and ability

of judging

Replace the preposition

to judge

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

things.

Therefore

certain

Add an article

a certain

show examples

set of restrictions should be applied

Change preposition

show examples

the advertisement to streamline it. In conclusion, the parents should take care of their

children

from these

profit oriented

Add a hyphen

profit-oriented

show examples

advertisements

Further

, there should be strict rules and regulations followed by

media

Correct article usage

the media

show examples

sector to minimize the effects of

advertisements

on the

children

to ensure the future of our society.

Submitted by thatchayini1994 on Tue Mar 05 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

To improve task achievement, ensure that your argument is directly related to the question throughout your essay. While you provided a general discussion on the topic, including more specific examples and a variety of arguments would strengthen your position. Aim for a balanced argument by discussing both sides of the issue, even if you choose to argue more strongly for one side.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, work on linking your ideas more clearly. Use a range of linking words and phrases to show relationships between ideas. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within a paragraph are clearly related. Consider also varying your sentence structures to enhance the flow of your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What are the causes of this topic? What measures can the international community take to meet this demand?
Food demand around the world is growing. Food demand is increasing because of the high population and the economy's growth. Furthermore, there are several solutions to be taken into account to meet the demand.
7
band
Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
A considerable number of people think that free time activities for children ought to be managed by parents, while others believe that children have the complete freedom to choose what they do in their free time. In my opinion, I completely agree that free time activities should be organized by parents.
7
band
Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement.
Some people think that household waste is usually not recycled. Therefore, they suggest that the government can make a difference in society by enforcing strict recycling laws, which can be an effective way to increase recycling rates in the community. I think this approach is true and the government should decide as soon as possible, the better.
5
band
Some people think that the government should ban dangerous sports.Others say that the society should be allowed to freely participate in any activities of their discuss both sides and give opinion
Risky sports have spiked a debated topic for residents. Some believe that it is the government's duty to establish laws and policies that prohibit people from indulgin in such hazardous acctivities. While others argue that it is an individual's right to immerse in any desired activity. This essay evaluates both views and explains why I stand at a cross-section when it comes to this topic.
4
band
Many believe that being good at a sport is result of talent while others think that it comes from hard work. Discuss both views and give your reasons.
People of the whole world enjoy sports but the person who is perticipating on the game is needed to talented as well hardworking. A lot of people think that being good at a sport is an output of talent others consider that come from heavily practice. In this essay, we will discuss both point also I am on the side of hard work.

Nowadays, a large amount of advertising is aimed at children, so some people think there are lots of negative effects on children, and should ban it. To what extent you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What are the causes of this topic? What measures can the international community take to meet this demand?

Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement.

Some people think that the government should ban dangerous sports.Others say that the society should be allowed to freely participate in any activities of their discuss both sides and give opinion

Many believe that being good at a sport is result of talent while others think that it comes from hard work. Discuss both views and give your reasons.