Nowadays, a large amount of advertising is aimed at children, so some people think there are lots of negative effects on children, and should ban it. To what extent you agree or disagree?

#amount #children #people #lots #effects #ban

Children

are future leaders of our society.

Hence

everyone has

Correct article usage

the responsiblity

show examples

responsiblity

Correct your spelling

responsibility

on their shoulders to teach good things and keep them healthy.

However

, nowadays

advertisements

are

aiming

Wrong verb form

aimed

show examples

the

children

for their profit sake.

This

essay will discuss the negative impacts of

Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

children

and provide

the

Correct article usage

show examples

concluding view. Nowadays

advertisements

such

as spoiling the

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

health , misguding or misrepresentation of social norms and reducing their ability

of judging

Replace the preposition

to judge

show examples

. When it comes to

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

health,

advertisements

showing

Wrong verb form

show

show examples

fantasy things rather than showing the actual effect on

human

Add an article

the human

show examples

body which leads to serious

health related

Add a hyphen

health-related

show examples

diseases in the early stage.

Futher

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

advertisements

are influencing the kids and changing their behaviours which is not remmondeable since it would collapse the social structures. I strongly recommend

to ban

Change the verb form

banning

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

advertisements

aiming

Wrong verb form

aimed

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

, especially

whoever

Correct pronoun usage

those

show examples

below 5 years old. Because they would

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

easily get attracted to the products

whichever promoting

Wrong verb form

that are promoted

show examples

through the media and consume those food products without knowing the actual consequences.

Further

advertisements

showing

Wrong verb form

show

show examples

different

set

Fix the agreement mistake

sets

show examples

of behaviours and

children

are not in the position to judge and understand the correct social norms.

Further

, large amounts of

advertisements

ultimately affect their intellectual skills and ability

of judging

Replace the preposition

to judge

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

things.

Therefore

certain

Add an article

a certain

show examples

set of restrictions should be applied

Change preposition

show examples

the advertisement to streamline it. In conclusion, the parents should take care of their

children

from these

profit oriented

Add a hyphen

profit-oriented

show examples

advertisements

Further

, there should be strict rules and regulations followed by

media

Correct article usage

the media

show examples

sector to minimize the effects of

advertisements

on the

children

to ensure the future of our society.

Submitted by thatchayini1994 on Tue Mar 05 2024

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task achievement

To improve task achievement, ensure that your argument is directly related to the question throughout your essay. While you provided a general discussion on the topic, including more specific examples and a variety of arguments would strengthen your position. Aim for a balanced argument by discussing both sides of the issue, even if you choose to argue more strongly for one side.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, work on linking your ideas more clearly. Use a range of linking words and phrases to show relationships between ideas. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within a paragraph are clearly related. Consider also varying your sentence structures to enhance the flow of your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, a large amount of advertising is aimed at children, so some people think there are lots of negative effects on children, and should ban it. To what extent you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports . What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?

today，fashion is becoming more and more important in choosing clothes.What are the reasons?Do you think the trend is positive or negative?

4.Many cities replace farmlands and parks with houses. Is it a positive or negative development? Write an essay with no less than 250 words.

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reason why someone should learn a foreign language.