Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
As a developed
country
, they might be have
basic needs Change the verb form
have
such
as foods
and Fix the agreement mistake
food
lands
. They Fix the agreement mistake
land
also
have advanced technology,
and rich raw materials where the citizen can live in peace. They actually have a great president or leader who Remove the comma
apply
bring
them into happily ever after life. But for the other Change the verb form
brings
country
, it is unlucky for them that they dont
have a supportive Correct your spelling
don't
country
for them to stay.
Refugees are
exist because of the overpopulation in some Unnecessary verb
apply
country
but they Fix the agreement mistake
countries
dont
have enough land Correct your spelling
don't
for
live, Change preposition
to
dont
expect any security from their Correct your spelling
don't
country
, being
a minority in the Verb problem
and are
country
as well. It is because the
high percentage of birthChange preposition
of the
,
Remove the comma
apply
so
that they Correct word choice
apply
dont
have any choice Correct your spelling
do not
to
leave the Change preposition
but to
country
to live. So they are spreading out to find places to survive and live there with their families. therefore
, they also
leave their other families, house, and citizenship.
As a result
, I agree that the rich countries should accept more refugees and give them the basic assistance. It is to show symphatize
as a human and as a human being we need to help Correct your spelling
sympathize
the
others so that if sometimes we need help, we can ask them as wellCorrect article usage
apply
Submitted by kezia.ch.wibowo on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence Cohesion
Work on creating a clear and coherent structure for your essay. Begin with an introduction that outlines the topic and your viewpoint, continue with paragraphs that support your stance with well-structured arguments, and conclude your essay with a summary or final thought.
Coherence Cohesion
Improve your introduction and conclusion. Make sure your essay has a clear introductory paragraph that states the topic and your position on it, and a conclusion that wraps up your argument.
Coherence Cohesion
Support your main points with clear explanations and relevant examples. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, explained fully, supported by examples or evidence, and linked clearly to your overall argument.
Task Achievement
Ensure your response fully addresses the task. Make sure you present a clear viewpoint on the statement provided, discuss the topic comprehensively, and include specific examples or explanations to support your stance.
Task Achievement
Make your ideas clearer and more comprehensive. Work on structuring your paragraphs so that your viewpoint and arguments on the topic are clearly and comprehensively communicated.
Task Achievement
Enhance your essay by incorporating more relevant and specific examples that directly support your arguments and viewpoint on the issue. This will make your essay stronger and more persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!