Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood, or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A group of people advocate for free community service programs as a mandatory part of secondary school’s curriculum (including work for charity neighbourhood development, and teaching to younger kids).
This
essay will illuminate why it can be beneficial for a student to be involved with these programs. nowadays, children spend a noticeable time at school and
subsequently
, they will be influenced by the dominant culture and atmosphere of the school.
Hence
curriculums should include inclusive, social, and moral programs
in addition
to sciences. Unpaid work of adolescents in community services fosters the substructures of effectiveness and usefulness in their temperament.
for instance
, they will understand the importance of positive impacts on individuals and their environment when they keep clean their neighbourhoods. and will effectively understand the pleasant vibes which is a reflection of their attempts.
Moreover
, contemporary humans have become selfish and self-centred,
therefore
these actions provide opportunities to cultivate a sense of empathy and compassion through others and the fact of responsibility of individuals to have a healthy society.
For example
, they will transparently touch people's problems by working at charities and trying to solve their problems or being a part of the solution which has profound impacts on children’s personalities.
To sum up
, employing youth in unpaid community services as an obligatory plan is an intellectual idea for the educational system because it can form their characters to be effective and responsible as a part of the society they live in.
Additionally
, it raises a sense of compassion and carefulness through exposure to individuals' problems in real life.
Submitted by ali.homayoni93 on

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task achievement
Your overall response to the task is clear and covers the main points. However, there are areas where further development and clarity could benefit the essay. Adding more depth to your arguments and more specific examples would provide a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with capitalization errors and ensure that each sentence starts with a capital letter. Also, the transition between some paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the logical flow. Use more linking words to make the essay more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly present, providing a clear framework for your essay. This helps the reader understand the overall structure and main points of your argument.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt effectively and presented a clear stance on the subject. This showcases your ability to engage with the topic critically.
task achievement
Your essay highlights the benefits of unpaid community service well, particularly in terms of character development and fostering empathy among students. These points are relevant and supportive of your argument.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
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