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Writing Samples
Band 5

Task 2: In some countries, more young adults continue to live with their parents even after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Discuss both views

#countries #adults #parents #education #jobs
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In different parts of the world, there is a trend when a mature person continuously lives with
Use synonyms
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
his parents
her parents
show examples
 even after graduation and finding a job. In my opinion, the pros of
this
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 outweigh the cons. In
this
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 essay, I plan to explore a few aspects to substantiate my point. On the one side, I would like to point out the
parents
Use synonyms
model
Change noun form
'
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 role in fostering
culture
Add an article
a culture
show examples
 of the preservation of family values
such
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 as respectfulness towards aged people,
youngsters
Change noun form
youngsters'
youngster's
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 support and many others. To elaborate, if a young man remains under the same roof
with
Change preposition
as
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 his father and mother, he will not have to spend time on house-cleaning, cooking, and other chore
due to
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 their support.
This
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 young man will more likely do the same for his children in the future.
Moreover
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, if a couple teaches their kids how to take care
about
Change preposition
of
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 grandfather or grandmother, the
youngstres
Correct your spelling
youngsters
youngster
 probably will keep
this
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 attitude towards adults in their future life. As another aspect, I would like to highlight
convenience
Add an article
the convenience
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 of living in the same house. Without a doubt, a person who has recently graduated from education may not be able to afford
renting
Change the verb form
to rent
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 an apartment.
Hence
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,
this
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 can help to save a budget. On the other side, there
is
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are
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 a few drawbacks of living with
parents
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, the chief among them is the situation when raising
up
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apply
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youth starts to consider parental support obligatory and,
as a result
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, become highly dependent and non-confident person.
On the contrary
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, with proper
upbringing
Add a comma
upbringing,
show examples
this
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 issue can be easily resolved. In conclusion, after taking under
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consideration all the above-mentioned,
although
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 there exist a few disadvantages of staying continuously with
parents
Use synonyms
, I wholeheartedly believe that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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outbalance
Verb problem
outweigh
show examples
 them
due to
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 the strong keeping the true family values.
Submitted by ruben.kirakosyan on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout the essay. While the essay overall demonstrates good structure, enhancing the transition and connection between paragraphs further will improve coherence.
Task Achievement
Integrate more detailed and specific examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your argument and make your ideas more persuasive.
Task Achievement
Clearly address the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages in a balanced manner, ensuring your personal opinion is well supported by the arguments presented.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cohabitation
  • intergenerational living
  • self-sufficiency
  • financial stability
  • maturation
  • dependency
  • socio-economic factors
  • familial dynamics
  • personal autonomy
  • housing affordability
  • cultural expectations
  • life trajectory
  • emotional resilience
  • nuclear family
  • joint family system
  • economic prudence
  • privacy concerns
  • social stigma
What to do next:
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