IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some government think that economic progress is their important goal, however, some people think that all types of progress are equally important. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#government #progress #people
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It is thought by the
government
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 that giving priority to economic
growth
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 is essential,
whereas
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, some folks consider other types of betterment should
also
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 be taken into consideration. I believe the
government
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 should equally prioritize all types of
progress
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 whether it's economic, environmental or cultural
growth
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.
To begin
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 with, it is argued why economic
progress
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 is seen as important by the
government
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. It is because
this
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progress
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 not only creates jobs, but
also
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 improves infrastructure, and a higher standard of living.
For example
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, the
government
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 in the United States always makes efforts to maintain economic advancement and its
growth
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 always is seen in newspapers despite the uncertain times even during
coronavirus
Correct article usage
the coronavirus
show examples
.
Consequently
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, people do not have to suffer from unemployment, bad infrastructure and poverty if their nation is strong economically.
However
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, some people are in support of equality of all types of improvements which are necessary for a country.
For instance
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, it is shown in some newspapers that environmental issues are rising day by day and conservation of natural resources is in danger and we will be responsible for the scarcity of resources which new generation can face in coming years,
therefore
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, the
government
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 must interfere in these areas
along with
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 economic
growth
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.
As a result
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, the nation will be fulfilled in every aspect in the coming years if authorities sustain balance in all areas to improve. In conclusion,
although
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 economic advancement is mandatory for a nation, other
progress
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 should not be neglected by authorities. Maintaining balance in all areas of advancement leads to a good future for
coming
Correct article usage
the coming
show examples
 generations.
Submitted by maninderdeep on

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relevant specific examples
Consider adding more specific and varied examples to illustrate your points more effectively. For instance, mention specific environmental programs or cultural initiatives that have impacted countries positively.
introduction conclusion present
You've clearly structured your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps the reader follow your argument seamlessly.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clearly stated, and you have effectively discussed both views on the topic.
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