Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people are in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
favour of
students
mandatory social
work
while
studying at school. I strongly disagree with
this
pehnomenon
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
because parents admit their offspring primarily for studies
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
show examples
for unpaid labourer
work
.
Moreover
, if community
services
are imposed on
students
, they will ultimately rebel. An enormous amount of people prefer that
students
should perform some compulsory social
work
.
This
will help them to develop
intepersonal
Correct your spelling
interpersonal
skills by socialising with
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
, in
this
way, they will not only contribute to society but
also
foster their communication skills.
However
, by imposing
such
responsibilities, they will resnet. They can only be asked for volunteer
services
which is definitely going to be
Correct article usage
a much
show examples
much
Correct article usage
a much
show examples
effective
Correct quantifier usage
more effective
show examples
strategy.
For example
, many adolescents take part in plantation campaigns during holidays on
voluntary
Add an article
a voluntary
show examples
basis but resent if forced to do the same activity.
Conversely
, I believe that
students
are at school for the purpose of education so they should focus on their studies rather than indulging themselves in distractions.
Students
can only perform well in academics and master their skills if they have consistent concentration which helps them to secure jobs at workplaces.
Moreover
, parents do not send their children to schools for social
services
rather authorities are responsible for
this
.
For instance
, many managerial and
director level
Add a hyphen
director-level
show examples
job position holders have distinctions in their academics. In conclusion, even though some people take mandatory student community
services
into consideration, I
completey
Correct your spelling
completely
disagree,
this
way
students
not only show resentment but
also
can not particularly focus on their studies
rather
Correct word choice
but rather
show examples
obliged
Add a missing verb
are obliged
show examples
to do labourer
work
.
Submitted by Haris Khan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Improve the clarity and development of your ideas by adding more relevant, specific examples. This will help demonstrate your points more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance your essay's logical structure by organizing paragraphs clearly around central ideas and using clear topic sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clear and concise. The introduction should outline your argument, and the conclusion should summarise your points without introducing new information.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!