IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many people are in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
favour of
students
Use synonyms
 mandatory social
work
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 studying at school. I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
pehnomenon
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
 because parents admit their offspring primarily for studies
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
show examples
 for unpaid labourer
work
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if community
services
Use synonyms
 are imposed on
students
Use synonyms
, they will ultimately rebel. An enormous amount of people prefer that
students
Use synonyms
 should perform some compulsory social
work
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 will help them to develop
intepersonal
Correct your spelling
interpersonal
 skills by socialising with
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
, in
this
Linking Words
 way, they will not only contribute to society but
also
Linking Words
 foster their communication skills.
However
Linking Words
, by imposing
such
Linking Words
 responsibilities, they will resnet. They can only be asked for volunteer
services
Use synonyms
 which is definitely going to be
Correct article usage
a much
show examples
much
Correct article usage
a much
show examples
effective
Correct quantifier usage
more effective
show examples
 strategy.
For example
Linking Words
, many adolescents take part in plantation campaigns during holidays on
voluntary
Add an article
a voluntary
show examples
 basis but resent if forced to do the same activity.
Conversely
Linking Words
, I believe that
students
Use synonyms
 are at school for the purpose of education so they should focus on their studies rather than indulging themselves in distractions.
Students
Use synonyms
 can only perform well in academics and master their skills if they have consistent concentration which helps them to secure jobs at workplaces.
Moreover
Linking Words
, parents do not send their children to schools for social
services
Use synonyms
 rather authorities are responsible for
this
Linking Words
.
For instance
Linking Words
, many managerial and
director level
Add a hyphen
director-level
show examples
 job position holders have distinctions in their academics. In conclusion, even though some people take mandatory student community
services
Use synonyms
 into consideration, I
completey
Correct your spelling
completely
 disagree,
this
Linking Words
 way
students
Use synonyms
 not only show resentment but
also
Linking Words
 can not particularly focus on their studies
rather
Correct word choice
but rather
show examples
obliged
Add a missing verb
are obliged
show examples
 to do labourer
work
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Improve the clarity and development of your ideas by adding more relevant, specific examples. This will help demonstrate your points more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance your essay's logical structure by organizing paragraphs clearly around central ideas and using clear topic sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clear and concise. The introduction should outline your argument, and the conclusion should summarise your points without introducing new information.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: