Some people say that older people should live with their adult children, while others think they should live in homes specially built for old people. Which do you think is a better practice?
While
some individuals suggest that elderly housing is a suitable option for residence However
I disagree with this
statement and believe that parents
should reside with their children.
There are several reasons why parents
living with their offspring is the best approach. Firstly
,
Many cultures around the globe don't cope with the idea of parents
living separately. For instance
, In South Asian countries like Pakistan and India, it's considered taboo to not live alongside family which results in the
complete social boycott and isolation from the community.
Correct article usage
a
Secondly
, Parents
require emotional support when reach older age. Elderly houses may provide extensive assistance in areas such
as meals, health and leisure activities but However
, but they fail to provide emotional needs because they can only be fulfilled by their loved ones. Moreover
, parents
have a vast Pandora's box of wisdom and knowledge, I reckon we could all use it to better solve our day-to-day problems and complicated issues that occur in our lives.
Lastly
, I think it's our moral duty to take care of them when they are old. Think of it as a trade, They raised you when you were a little destitute infant who could barely walk, talk or eat on its own and now it's your turn to return the favour. They played a crucial role for us to become successful in life therefore
abandoning them when they need us the most is completely unethical.
In conclusion, I agree with parents
to settle with their children since there are many benefits involved.Submitted by shahroz99dev on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is quite well-organized, but it could benefit from clearer topic sentences. For example, starting each paragraph with a clear statement of the main idea would improve readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion is present and succinct, however, it could be more comprehensive by summarizing the main points discussed in the body. This helps to reinforce your arguments to the reader.
task achievement
Though your response is fairly complete, ensure each of your points is fully developed and supported with specific examples. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
task achievement
Work on elaborating your clear and comprehensive ideas a bit further. Including more detail and depth can improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your points. For example, providing a specific scenario where emotional support is crucial would have solidified your argument.
task achievement
You have touched on culturally relevant points, especially when discussing norms in South Asian countries. This adds depth to your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure and each paragraph addresses a specific point. This helps in maintaining a clear flow from one idea to the next.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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