You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

In recent years, obesity has become one of the most debatable themes in today’s society. Some folks have pondered that parental overindulgence and an increment in the fast-
food
industry are factors contributing to
this
matter.
Therefore
,
this
essay will delineate the underlying causes of
kids
’ obesity and exhibit the resulting conclusion as follows.
Along with
the worldwide development of the social economy, the advent of industrially processed
food
is the primary cause of obese
children
. To
further
explain, given that parents need to do nine-to-five-hour jobs, they hardly ever find free time to prepare cooked meals for their
kids
. Especially for those living in urban zones,
this
turns out to be even more harsh to care for their diets tactfully.
As a result
, junk
food
or processed products are regarded as the best alternative for most adults to make dishes. Another reason behind
this
scenario is the way that spouses spoil their
kids
with whatever they yearn to consume.
This
inadvertently leads to undiscipline in a great deal of households where
children
easily throw tantrums whenever they do not get what they want. To tackle these problems is really challenging, but there are several methods that possibly address them.
First,
couples should tighten their constraints on their
kids
in daily diets. Taking control of
children
’s meals
also
coincides with controlling what their
kids
will digest, consisting of nutrients that are beneficial for the improvement of their digestion and filtering impure substances. What is more, governments should share responsibility in encouraging enterprises to generate more organic
food
, purchasing vegetables and fruits from village farmers. In conclusion, despite the shortage of parental discipline on
children
and the widespread rise of fast
food
causing detrimental effects on
children
, governmental action and parental involvement are potentially positive methods to prevent unexpected outcomes.
Submitted by aitam.dothi on

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task achievement
Ensure that the essay directly and comprehensively addresses all parts of the task, including a clear discussion on both the causes and effects of the topic presented. Provide more specific examples or data to back up claims.
coherence cohesion
Improve cohesion by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas and paragraphs. Additionally, try to vary sentence structure to enhance readability.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples from personal experience or general knowledge to substantiate your arguments. This will help to provide depth to your analysis and support your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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