In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

A lot of countries are witnessing that the
people
who live in
Correct article usage
the countrysides
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countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
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are emigrating to
cities
,
hence
the population of
Correct article usage
the countrysides
show examples
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
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is reducing. I believe that
this
is a negative phenomenon, and I will inspect that in
this
essay.
Due to
that the Individuals in rural areas are travelling to urban spots,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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population of
cities
are growing day by day, which leads to some drawbacks for
cities
.
For example
, the congestion
of
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in
show examples
cities
is growing and that leads to pollution. Since
,
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apply
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more
people
are living in
cities
, they use more vehicles,
more
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and more
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fossil fuels are burned which plays a crucial role in increasing air pollution.
Also
,
people
are to be tackled more with traffic jams. All of them are going to
make
Verb problem
cause
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a lot of chaos.
Furthermore
, as there are
less
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fewer
show examples
people
in
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the countrysides
show examples
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
, the number of individuals who pursue agriculture will decrease, which has many consequences. the most important thing in
people
's lives is food, and countries need
labours
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labourers
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for maintaining
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to maintain
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the
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
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lands
and
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apply
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without
a
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apply
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surveillance
to
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of
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the lands, they are going to become infertile which leads to food scarcity.
While
,
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apply
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nowadays more
people
especially youngsters prefer to leave rural life and
do
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apply
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not work on
land
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the land
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,
Instead
they choose to work in
cities
. In conclusion,
people
are choosing to live in city spots as opposed to
stay
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staying
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in
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the countrysides
show examples
countrysides
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countryside
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, albeit
this
is followed by some disadvantages,
such
as a dramatic increase in city dwellers
than
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that
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cause congestion and pollution in
cities
, and
also
the decrease in farmers that leads to food scarcity.
Submitted by sindokhtdadjoo2000 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure your introduction fully paraphrases the question and clearly states your position. This essay would benefit from a more explicit statement of your viewpoint in the introduction.
Task Achievement
To enrich your argument, use a wider range of specific examples. While you have presented reasons for the negative impact of urban migration, incorporating specific research findings, statistics, or case studies could make your argument more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on the logical flow between ideas. Consider using more cohesive devices and varied sentence structures to connect your ideas more smoothly.
Coherence and Cohesion
A brief summary of your argument in the conclusion increases its impact. Reinforce your stance with a compelling final statement that echoes the main points discussed.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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