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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that international trade and communication with other countries is a positive trend, while others think it is harmful to nations and they might lose their identities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #trade #communication #countries #trend #nations #identities
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To commence with, it cannot be argued that they might lose their identities.
Although
, some people reckon that global trading and relationships with other nations are a better trend others criticize it and concede that it is harmful to countries. I will discuss both views in upcoming paragraphs.
Furthermore
, highlighting the first aspect, people supporting the idea of international trade develop economic growth between both nations as they believe it is beneficial in terms of the countries building new infrastructure and adapting new models from abroad.
Moreover
, it would not be wrong to say that trading is the most crucial thing for nations. To elaborate an epitome Apple company spreads their business internationally
this
 can be considered as they want to sell their products in every community. Shifting to other aspects, another school of thought opposes the concept that it may reveal their identity as some people think that a few hackers can hack
the
Change preposition
into the
show examples
 secrets of the country the factor which strengthens the view is they can lose their security and
this
 cannot be ignored.
Additionally
, nowadays most public is earning money by online trading in international markets.
For instance
, if a person makes an online account on any platform
then
 they fill in their personal and bank details for freelancing. After pondering over
this
, I conclude that communication with other communities is a positive fashion and others believe that it is hazardous to the public. In my point of view, the government could ensure that trading is safe before any export or import of things globally and they could sign an agreement between the communities for exportations.
Submitted by psingh8059 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clear, distinct paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea. Use transitions effectively to connect ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider variety of linking words to show relationships between ideas more clearly and make the text more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Be clear and concise in your introduction and conclusion. Ensure the conclusion summarizes the views discussed and clearly states your own stance.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address all parts of the task, providing a balanced view of both sides of the argument before presenting your own opinion.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more detailed explanations and use more specific examples to support your arguments. This will add depth to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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