Nowadays in many countries chemicals are used to preserve food. Do the advantages of this use outweigh the disadvantages ?
A wide range of chemicals' usage in preserving
food
has lead
to some Wrong verb form
led
arguements
in many countries. Correct your spelling
arguments
This
writer argues that the benefits of longing products
' lifespan and reducing preserving cost
can outweigh the Fix the agreement mistake
costs
drawback
of altering the ingredients.
One of the focal Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
benefit
of using Change to a plural noun
benefits
preservatives
is longing the
lifespan of Change preposition
for the
products
. It is fudamental
that Correct your spelling
fundamental
preservatives
have the ability to preserve food
for future usage. Hence
, manufactures
don't have to change their product for rotten purposes, balancing the equilibrium of supply and demand. Correct your spelling
manufacturers
Moreover
, products
will stand for their qualities, keeping the good standard of products
' origin. Taking M&M as a prime example, where this
chocolate Correct determiner usage
apply
products
seem to be melted due to
outer effects before arviving
to users without the addition of Correct your spelling
arriving
preservatives
.
Another advantage of using preservatives
is the reducing
in preserving Replace the word
reduction
cost
. Fix the agreement mistake
costs
This
is due to
the fact that many products
are hard to be preserved in a common condition for a long period, leveling
the spending rates of Change the spelling
levelling
manufactures
for gadgets to preserve these Correct your spelling
manufacturers
products
. Furthermore
, some of those gadgets need a
maintenance Remove the article
apply
for being
in good condition, Change preposition
to be
replacing
Replace the word
replacement
due to
anachronism, and limitation
in storing Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
food
. Mixue is one of the noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
evidences
, where Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
this
ice cream company tend to spend a massive budget in renewing their ice cream's
fridge annually, causing Change noun form
cream
the
low in Correct article usage
a
it's
profit.
Despite these benefits, Replace the word
its
preservatives
usage in Change the noun form
preservative
food
can raise the
awareness Correct article usage
apply
in
altering their chemical properties. In the Change preposition
of
begining
, Correct your spelling
beginning
preservatives
have the
toxic effect Correct article usage
a
toward
Change preposition
on
food
by changing their chemical 's
origin to Change noun form
chemical
long the lasting
. Correct your spelling
long-lasting
Hence
, this
impact can adjust not only their tastes but also
their nutritions
Fix the agreement mistake
nutrition
contain
. Replace the word
content
Consequently
, these products
are not originally manufacturing
, leading to some effects Replace the word
manufactured
in
Change preposition
on
users
health. Change noun form
users'
user's
However
the chance of coming down into an illness after taking a Add a comma
However,
packagable
product can be minimized by well-censoring the Correct your spelling
packageable
package
last
products
before shipping to users.
In conclusion, adding preservatives
to the food
can longing
the lifespan of Verb problem
prolong
product
and Add an article
the product
reducing
the cost of Wrong verb form
reduce
preserving
process. These can strongly outweigh the Correct article usage
the preserving
disadvantage
of altering Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
products
' chemical properties.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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Task Achievement
To improve Task Response, ensure that all parts of the question are addressed with a clear position throughout the essay. It is crucial to develop fully extended and well-supported ideas. Consider offering a more nuanced discussion on how the advantages and disadvantages compare.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, organize your essay more effectively by clearly separating paragraphs, each dedicated to a singular main idea. Use a range of cohesive devices accurately but also ensure they do not overly dominate the text. Vary your linking phrases beyond simple connectors like 'Moreover' and 'Furthermore'.
General
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure. This will help in making your argument clearer and more convincing.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example