Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Write at least 250 words.
In
this
era, a range of options of
therapy are available to be chosen by patients. Change preposition
for
As a result
, a shift happens as more and more people
prefer to opt for alternative
medicine
instead
of using conventional medicine
by visiting doctors. From my point of view, it is quite difficult to consider this
as a positive development
.
First of all, alternative
treatment and medicine
are seen as a positive development
for some people
as they could be provided at a more affordable price than conventional medicine
. This
option seems to be more feasible for some groups of people
who can not afford conventional treatment For instance
, chemotherapy for cancer patients usually costs millions of rupiah, whereas
alternative
medicine
sometimes offers the treatment at a price of less than one million rupiah
However
, instead
of curing illnesses, alternative
medicine
could possibly worsen people
's current condition and even lead to other health issues. Inaccurate assessment given by the therapist along with
insufficient risk-benefit analysis are the main reasons why this
happens. For example
, there are many cases where a patient with diabetes is treated with a herb mixture to decrease the level of blood sugar and ends up collapsing as their blood sugar decreases to the point where It is intolerable. Also
, some researchers have proven that the use of herbs taken as medicine
. not processed well, could harm the kidney and lead to the development
of kidney stones.
in conclusion, even though nowadays people
argue that alternative
medicine
is a positive development
due to
its price. I want to reaffirm my statement that this
phenomenon tends to be negative since it could lead to further
unpredictable health issuesSubmitted by ggitasari on
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task achievement
Ensure that the essay directly answers the question asked, taking a clear stance on whether the shift towards alternative medicine is positive or negative. Expand on your argument with a balanced discussion if you view it as complex, but make sure your opinion is clear.
coherence and cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure that your essay flows logically from introduction to conclusion, with each paragraph smoothly leading into the next. Use a variety of connective words to enhance coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of linking phrases to improve the cohesion of your essay. This will help to guide the reader through your argument more clearly.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples and evidence to support your main points. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.