Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Write at least 250 words.

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In
this
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era, a range of options
of
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for
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therapy are available to be chosen by patients.
As a result
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, a shift happens as more and more
people
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prefer to opt for
alternative
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medicine
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instead
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of using conventional
medicine
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by visiting doctors. From my point of view, it is quite difficult to consider
this
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as a positive
development
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. First of all,
alternative
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treatment and
medicine
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are seen as a positive
development
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for some
people
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as they could be provided at a more affordable price than conventional
medicine
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.
This
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option seems to be more feasible for some groups of
people
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who can not afford conventional treatment
For instance
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, chemotherapy for cancer patients usually costs millions of rupiah,
whereas
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alternative
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medicine
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sometimes offers the treatment at a price of less than one million rupiah
However
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,
instead
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of curing illnesses,
alternative
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medicine
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could possibly worsen
people
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's current condition and even lead to other health issues. Inaccurate assessment given by the therapist
along with
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insufficient risk-benefit analysis are the main reasons why
this
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happens.
For example
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, there are many cases where a patient with diabetes is treated with a herb mixture to decrease the level of blood sugar and ends up collapsing as their blood sugar decreases to the point where It is intolerable.
Also
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, some researchers have proven that the use of herbs taken as
medicine
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. not processed well, could harm the kidney and lead to the
development
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of kidney stones. in conclusion, even though nowadays
people
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argue that
alternative
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medicine
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is a positive
development
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due to
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its price. I want to reaffirm my statement that
this
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phenomenon tends to be negative since it could lead to
further
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unpredictable health issues
Submitted by ggitasari on

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task achievement
Ensure that the essay directly answers the question asked, taking a clear stance on whether the shift towards alternative medicine is positive or negative. Expand on your argument with a balanced discussion if you view it as complex, but make sure your opinion is clear.
coherence and cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure that your essay flows logically from introduction to conclusion, with each paragraph smoothly leading into the next. Use a variety of connective words to enhance coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of linking phrases to improve the cohesion of your essay. This will help to guide the reader through your argument more clearly.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples and evidence to support your main points. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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