IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Ordinary people try to copy famous personalities by seeing them on TV or reading about them in the newspapers.Why do they do this?Do you think it is a good idea to copy famous people?

#people #copy #personalities #tv #newspapers #idea
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It is common for
people
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 to try copying famous
celebrities
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 by seeing them on television or newspaper. In
this
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 essay, I will explain some reasons behind
this
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 behaviour and why
this
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 idea is somewhat interesting. In my opinion, most
people
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 often wear similar
clothes
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 to their idols because it is normal human behaviour. They always dream about being an important person
such
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 as actors, athletes, and
celebrities
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. So the easiest and fastest thing they can do is just by following how their idol's fashions. It gives them much confidence knowing that they represent one personality. Another reason is they are often confused about their
clothes
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 for daily activities, they rather just look at what other
people
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 like to wear and follow them than spend too much time thinking about it. Surprisingly, I
also
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 think
this
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 is a very good idea. There is no better way of choosing our
clothes
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 than copying famous
celebrities
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' styles. They are already rich and have their own fashion stylists. Luxury brands of
clothes
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also
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 make them their brand ambassador. Meanwhile, as ordinary
people
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, we usually do not have that kind of privilege.
For instance
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, I like to wear football shoes brands that many athletes wear like Adidas, Nike, and Puma. In conclusion, following our idols or
celebrities
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' style is worth doing, but I think we should
also
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 have our own style of
clothes
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. Because in the end, it is better to be yourself rather than be somebody else. We can just wear the most comfy
clothes
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 we want.
Submitted by josepharie31 on

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task achievement
Make sure each argument is clearly supported by specific examples. Including more detailed examples can strengthen your position.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all ideas and paragraphs are clearly connected. Transition words or phrases can help guide the reader through your arguments smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a nice structure.
task achievement
The ideas presented in the essay are generally clear and relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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