IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Pollution and other environmental problems are resulting from a country's developing and becoming richer. Some think this can not be avoided. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#pollution #country #think
Some people
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
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in
Change preposition
apply
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that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
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 cannot be
stoped
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stopped
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while
the
Correct article usage
apply
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developing
countries
 attempting to get more
accsess
Correct your spelling
access
 to resources to improve their technology and reach
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more equivalences by improved
countries
. I agree with
this
 theory to some extent as I will discuss it in my essay. One of the most important
pillar
Change to a plural noun
pillars
show examples
 of the stated theory is
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 fact that pollution in any region in the world can easily spread out and affect the global quality of environmental
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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 and
make even
Verb problem
cause
show examples
 serious problems in many different aspects of our planet.
For instance
, if one country in the middle east
depleting
Wrong verb form
depletes
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 the natural resources of oil to produce more electrical energy to use in their industrial or domestic parts, it
definitley
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definitely
lead
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leads
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 to greenhouse gas
emmited
Correct your spelling
emitted
 which is a global impact and can reach
to
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apply
show examples
other continent
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another continent
other continents
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 even in
polars
Correct your spelling
polar
.
Therefor
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Therefore
show examples
 trying to improve in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
countries
 which
certaily acompanies
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certainly companies
 with
this
kind
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kinds
show examples
 of activities, can
contineously
Correct your spelling
continuously
 generate worldwide
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
.
On the other hand
, if
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
countries
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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take more responsible policies to develop their living level, and
using
Wrong verb form
use
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 sustainable and green methods to
enhancing
Wrong verb form
enhance
show examples
 their technologies can
effectivley
Correct your spelling
effectively
 reduce their environmental impacts resulting in
cleaner
Add an article
a cleaner
show examples
 world. In conclusion, as I
disscused
Correct your spelling
discussed
, using more sustainable technical methods and
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
commitment
 to international environmental regulations can diminish the adverse impacts of industrial
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
despit
Correct your spelling
despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
its nature to destroy and make
impurity
Fix the agreement mistake
impurities
show examples
 in our habitat.
Submitted by enayatollahi.at on

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Task Achievement
To improve your Task Achievement score, make sure your essay responds more directly and comprehensively to the prompt. This includes presenting a clearer stance throughout the essay and elaborating your points with more specific, relevant examples that directly support your view.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance the clarity and impact of your essay by organizing your ideas and arguments more logically. A well-structured essay should have a clear progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea.
Coherence & Cohesion
To better support your main points and strengthen your argument, incorporate a broader range of specific examples and detailed explanations. This will help clarify your points and make your argument more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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