IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Why do many people not exercise regularly? What solutions can help them exercise more?

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Most
people
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 understand the importance of being physically active, yet many still lead a mainly sedentary lifestyle.
This
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 essay will discuss why
people
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 avoid exercising and how they could be encouraged to do so more often. The reasons why
people
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 do not
exercise
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 are plentiful; one of them is a lack of
time
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. For individuals working long hours, finding
time
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 to
exercise
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 is a challenge. When they eventually have some free
time
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 after work or on weekends, many prefer to spend it socialising or simply relaxing.
While
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 some
people
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 are too busy to
exercise
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, others simply do not enjoy physically exerting themselves. When,
in addition
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 to that, there is an expensive gym subscription fee to be paid,
it
Correct word choice
so it
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 is not surprising that
people
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 often choose to spend their free
time
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 and money in a more enjoyable way. In my view, three measures may help
people
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 keep more active.
Firstly
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, they should be encouraged to take advantage of any type of physical
exercise
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that is
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 available to them, be it a brisk ten-minute walk or taking the stairs
instead
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 of a lift. These short periods of activity, which can have noticeable health benefits, can be easily slotted into most
people
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’s daily routines. Another way to encourage individuals to
exercise
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 is to make it more fun. Those who do not like running on the treadmill or using weights at the gym could perhaps find a sport they enjoy,
such
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 as swimming or playing basketball. To help with the costs, the government should provide community sports centres where fees can be kept lower than at private gyms.
To conclude
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,
people
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 do not
exercise
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 for various reasons, including a lack of
time
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, money and desire. Encouraging them to be physically active during the day and offering fun, reasonably priced sports activities can help them become healthier and fitter.

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Task Achievement
To enhance Task Achievement, try to incorporate more specific examples into your argument. While your essay addresses the prompt adequately, adding vivid, real-life examples could further support your points and make your argument more relatable and compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
Regarding Coherence and Cohesion, your essay demonstrates a logical structure and effective use of cohesive devices. To further improve, consider varying your transition words and phrases to create smoother and more sophisticated connections between ideas.
Task Achievement
Attempt to delve deeper into the solutions by providing more detailed descriptions or potential outcomes. Doing so would enrich your discussion on the ways to encourage more frequent exercise, making the essay more engaging and informative.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • exercise regimen
  • personal goals
  • individual pace
  • convenience
  • motivation
  • peer pressure
  • structured classes
  • social dynamics
  • accountability
  • external motivation
  • self-discipline
  • peer support
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