Some people say that schools should invest money in the best equipment for their students. Others says that it is better to invest money in hiring good teachers. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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Education is the backbone of any society, and one cannot be lackadaisical when it comes to learning. A multitude of people assert that the most relevant approach to teaching
students
nowadays is utilizing automation, and the government should invest in expensive devices
such
as computers and other electronic gadgets. Others believe that a nation should prioritise recruiting well-qualified tutors.
This
essay will explain both viewpoints before presenting my perspective on the matter. On one hand, spending a portion of a country's budget to make smart classes
such
as on computers and projectors will not only enhance children's learning experiences but
also
prepare them for a technologically driven future. Most businesses these days hire aspirants who can handle digital equipment easily and are aware of how to handle different electronic devices. Learning how to
handledigital
Correct your spelling
handle digital
devices in school can increase the chances of getting high-paid and secure jobs,
thus
, improving the professional life of youngsters.
For instance
, the government of Japan set an excellent precedence by introducing artificial intelligence in the classrooms and the pupils are getting their dream profession immediately after completion of their education.
On the other hand
, the real faculty in the classroom have their influence on the juveniles. Real teachers are the best tutors as they can easily recognise the weaknesses and strengths of all
students
and can elucidate
students
from their own experiences in alternative ways if a student is unable to understand a certain topic.
Moreover
,
students
can learn discipline only with the guidance of a teacher.
For example
, many young people always need the watchful eye of instructors as they can fool around the technology,
while
they will be more disciplined under the guidance of a human teacher. So,
that is
why it is far better to allocate sufficient funds to finding well-educated and experienced teachers. In my opinion, nowadays, technology plays an indispensable role in academic and professional growth. An early introduction to automation is fruitful to
students
in many ways
such
as getting jobs in esteemed companies.
Nevertheless
, the role of the instructor in the classroom cannot be neglected as they can teach individuals
according to
their capabilities. So, striking a balance between spending on technology and hiring skilled educators is essential for the
overall
development of school-goers. In conclusion, the debate over spending on smart classes or recruiting teachers is complex.
Although
, funding for electronic gadgets will not only master school-goers in handling digital gadgets but
also
assist them in getting high-paying jobs, the importance of superior teaching staff in learning as per individual capabilities and in learning punctuality cannot be ignored. So the government should balance the funds for both.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay follows a clear and logical structure. It's important to organize your essay in a way that makes it easy for the reader to follow your argument. While your essay has a good structure, refining the alignment of ideas to flow more smoothly can enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are essential for setting up your argument and summarizing your stance effectively. Your essay includes both, but ensure the conclusion succinctly encapsulates your views without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Supporting your main points with concrete examples is vital for strengthening your argument. You've done well in providing relevant examples, but adding more varied examples could make your arguments even more compelling.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, make sure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. You've provided a comprehensive response, but ensuring your opinion is clear throughout the essay, not just at the end, could strengthen your task achievement score.
task achievement
Enhance the clarity of your ideas by breaking down complex thoughts into more straightforward, digestible statements. While your essay presents comprehensive ideas, simplifying complex thoughts will make your argument more accessible to the reader.
task achievement
Incorporating relevant and specific examples is a key component of a high-scoring essay. You've done this well, but diversifying your examples to cover a broader range of perspectives could enhance the effectiveness of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • state-of-the-art technology
  • learning experiences
  • technologically driven future
  • educational infrastructure
  • physical and digital resources
  • high-quality education
  • experienced teachers
  • tailor learning approaches
  • personalized feedback
  • superior teaching staff
  • academic performance
  • optimal learning environment
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