Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In recent years, technology has made extraordinary advancements. Nowadays, the way we communicate, medical treatments and transportation networks all rely on electronic machinery. Some argue that the degree of dependency on technological equipment has put us in a grave predicament.
While
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I acknowledge that using technology as our backbone can threaten our safety, I believe investing in electronic machines will bring us more long-term benefits. On one hand, there is a risk of machines malfunctioning, which
then
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puts us at risk.
For example
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, self-driving vehicles are increasing in popularity
due to
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their convenience.
However
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, accidents are prone to happen as the car may act up,
thus
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placing not only the passengers but pedestrians in danger.
Similarly
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, failure during medical procedures or communication during emergency operations will endanger the lives of human beings.
This
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then
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creates the issue of who will take responsibility for the mishap. It is hard to hold a single person accountable for the mistake of an electronic device,
thus
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making it difficult to trust computing technology.
On the other hand
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, continuous support of technological innovations has various advantages to society.
For instance
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, satellite devices have significantly improved quotidian life as they aid in tasks
such
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as weather forecast, traffic and internet connection.
Additionally
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, advancements in machinery have led to the breakthrough of various clinical treatments and instruments, thereby improving the quality of life in society. In conclusion,
while
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it is vital to address the hazards of over-reliance on mechanical equipment, the long-term benefits cannot be overlooked. By allocating resources to
further
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support technical innovations, there can be an increase in safety features in the future, and
therefore
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reduce the likelihood of disaster.

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task achievement
Make sure to explain your ideas more clearly and use simpler examples for better understanding.
coherence
Try to use clearer transitions between your ideas to make it easier to follow your essay.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to better support your main points.
coherence
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the topic, and your conclusion summarizes your points well.
task achievement
You presented a balanced view, discussing both the risks and benefits of technology.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • reliance
  • cybersecurity
  • over-reliance
  • digital divide
  • data breach
  • cyberbullying
  • diagnostic machines
  • electronic health records
  • automated vehicles
  • predictive maintenance
  • real-time monitoring
  • vulnerability
  • misinformation
  • hacking
  • efficiency
  • navigation systems
  • traditional skills
  • system failures
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