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Some parents believe that their children their children should do extra curricular activities after shcool. Others say in this was, children are under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#parents #children #activities #shcool #was #pressure
Although
 some are of the opinion that
students
 ought to participate in extracurricular
activities
 after school hours ,others believe that
such
activities
 can lead to additional pressure .In my opinion, I consider that extracurricular
activities
 make
students
 feel stressed. On the one hand,
children
 should do extracurricular
activities
 after school because , unlike extracurricular
activities
, academic subjects, do not teach
students
 social skills and teamwork. Socializing will play an important role in future when
children
 enter society.
Moreover
, extracurricular
activities
,
such
 as sports, can be beneficial for
students
. More exercise is good for
children
’s both physical and mental health.
For example
,
students
 do not have time to do exercise at school, but they can do it at extracurricular
activities
.
On the other hand
 , it is
also
 believed that in
this
 way
children
 are under pressure. One reason is that
students
 ought to be allowed to choose their own
extra
Correct word choice
extracurricular
show examples
activities
, and I agree. The
children
 may not like the
activities
 that the parents have arranged, and they would prefer to choose extracurricular
activities
 that they like.
Furthermore
, some
students
 are already overloaded with homework. Adding extracurricular
activities
 will only become a burden to them.
Also
 adding pressure to
students
 is not healthy for them. Proper rest is very important for
students
.
To sum up
 ,
while
 people have a different view in their opinions, I believe that
students
 should not have so many extracurricular
activities
, and they ought to have more rest
Submitted by s_syedy on

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task achievement
Clarify your thesis statement in the introduction to directly address the essay topic and make your stance clear.
coherence cohesion
In your body paragraphs, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea and use clear topic sentences to introduce the main point.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more fully by including more detailed examples and explanations to support your points. This can involve drawing on personal or widely recognized examples.
coherence cohesion
Try to start each body paragraph with a clear topic sentence that summarizes the paragraph's main idea, contributing to the logical flow of the essay.
task achievement
In the conclusion, restate your opinion more forcefully and summarize the main points of the essay to reinforce your argument.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of transitional phrases and sentences to connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively, enhancing the overall cohesion and flow of your essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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