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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the average closing prices of selected precious metals from 2013 to 2021

The graph below shows the average closing prices of selected precious metals from 2013 to 2021
#prices #metals
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The line chart demonstrates the information regarding the price of three different metals which were gold,
platinum
, and
palladium
 every year, over
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 eight-year
period
 between 2013 and 2021. In general, the most prominent feature is that the cost of gold and
palladium
 experienced upward tendencies
while
platinum
 underwent the opposite throughout the
period
. Another interesting point is that, despite starting as the least popular,
platinum
 was the least valuable metal in 2021. As regards gold, the price commenced at around 1500 in 2013 before decreasing slightly in 2015 to almost 1000. After that,
this
 bakery witnessed another considerable increase to just over 1500
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2020 and remained stable until the end of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
.
Likewise
, despite being the least valuable metal in the first
period
 at just above 500,
palladium
 rose rapidly to under 1000 before it decreased
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 around 500 in 2018.
However
, in the middle of
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
palladium
 rocketed by roughly almost 2500 and became the highest valuable metal in 2021.
On the other hand
, with respect to
platinum
,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 declined gradually
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the first three years, between 1500 to 1000.
Then
,
this
 trend continued to hit the bottom at just under 1000 in 2020, before it inclined slightly to above 1000
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of year.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words platinum, palladium, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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