IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people think that ambition is essential for success. To what extent do you agree?

#people #ambition #success
It is true that being ambitious is of primary importance in order to achieve
goals
. I completely agree with
this
 view for the reasons described below. Ambition can motivate people from an internal source, which is available every moment inside us.
This
 characteristic
that is
 buried deeply in human beings’ subconscious has the power to affect them in a psychological way, manipulating their brain and encouraging individuals to be far more energetic.
Moreover
, there is no need for external motivations from the network of friends or family members.
For example
,
this
 feature would be more helpful for those who live alone.
As a result
 of their aspiration, they can pursue their dreams by addressing all the problems that they may come across and defeating them.
In addition
, it is vividly clear that without having desire, ambiguous
goals
 would be chosen.
Following
this
, when there is no explicit point to go, the concept of achieving it could be considered even meaningless. These kinds of people may prioritize their activities in a way that their
goals
 are not on top of the list, giving more importance to other activities.
This
 would lead them to be lazier, more depressed, and suffer more from a lack of a sense of satisfaction compared to those who desire to get what they dream of.
Therefore
, in my perspective, ambitious people are more likely to achieve their
goals
,
while
 others could enjoy their moments and their current status. In conclusion, I believe that being an aspirant is the most significant feature
that is
 needed for those who are seeking success.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that signals the main idea you will discuss. This helps readers understand the central point of each segment right away.
Coherence and Cohesion
As you introduce examples or evidence to support your main points, try to elaborate on them more deeply. Explain not just what happened, but also why it supports your argument. This means providing analysis in addition to description.
Task achievement
To enhance your essay's task response, make sure your position is clear throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion. While you have stated your agreement clearly, reinforcing your viewpoint in the body paragraphs can strengthen your argument.
General advice
Incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures to demonstrate the full range of your grammatical skills. While your essay is well-written, varying sentence types and lengths can make your writing more engaging and dynamic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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