some people believe that allowing children to make their own decisions on everyday matters is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important to make decisions about matters that affect them discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some
parents
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
permit youngsters to make a choice with themselves
while
others believe that the best way to make decisions with their members of
families
Fix the agreement mistake
family
show examples
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
of their maturity. In my opinion, I consider young people should decide on all days
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
themselves and learn with experience.
To begin
, some people provide
kids
do everything they prefer and they look after them closer if
kids
need some advice
that
Change preposition
on that
show examples
difficult decision. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
result, young people become highly confident in activities and manage their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
such
what
Change preposition
as what
show examples
to eat today, what to watch
next,
what to do in sports etc., by choosing as simply as they wish.
Additionally
, for hard to choose they need to rely on their
parents
. By way,
kids
can trial and error with the situation
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
are facing and resolve a problem with their abilities.
Moreover
, experiential
passed
Verb problem
pasts are
show examples
able to develop them
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
adult life.
On the other hand
, some
parents
don’t let
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
kids
decide everything in their life because they believe
with
Change preposition
that
show examples
kids
ages
Correct your spelling
are
show examples
not able to choose the best thing now, they believe their experience can help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
kids
prevent mistakes in the future so
kids
will get the great thing cause
kids
lack of self-confident and avoid to decide without
parents
.
However
, it is not possible their opinion is right.
However
, more pressure or
make own
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
decisions on
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
may be stressful. In conclusion, it seems
kids
can choose what they want to do easily on daily days
according to
their wants.
However
,
parents
should
upbringing
Verb problem
raise
show examples
their children and give advice if they need
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
help.
Submitted by chompoo34888 on

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task achievement
Focus on clearly introducing your essay with a distinct thesis statement that outlines your opinion and main arguments. Your introduction should directly address the question and set the tone for the rest of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that these ideas are logically ordered. Use a range of linking phrases to connect your ideas within and across paragraphs more effectively.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your arguments. These should be detailed and directly related to the topic to convincingly illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary to more precisely express your ideas and make your writing more engaging.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fosters
  • Critical thinking
  • Personal growth
  • Overemphasis
  • Self-centered mentality
  • Consequences
  • Freedom
  • Lack of experience
  • Balance
  • Guided
  • Engaging
  • Sense of inclusion
  • Validating
What to do next:
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