Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweight the disadvantages?

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Use synonyms

Museum

Change the article

A museum

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is a place where material of cultural and historical value is

exibited

Correct your spelling

exhibited

. Some individuals are of the opinion that

such

Linking Words

places

Use synonyms

should have free entry

whereas

Linking Words

, others believe that entry to

such

Linking Words

places

Use synonyms

should be charged. I personally feel that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it should be paid. On one hand, When people pay to see

such

Linking Words

artifacts

then

Linking Words

they will understand the importance of those

places

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Hence

Linking Words

, they will not damage those valuables.

For example

Linking Words

beggers

Correct your spelling

beggars

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and rogues can be avoided.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the money collected from

public

Add an article

the public

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can be utilised in many ways

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

overall

Linking Words

maintainence

Correct your spelling

maintenance

, the salaries of the employees and

also

Linking Words

for the health and education of the children of employees.

This

Linking Words

money will

also

Linking Words

decrease the burden of extra expenses on

government

Correct article usage

the government

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as the

museum

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will be

self-relient

Correct your spelling

self-reliant

On the other hand

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

students who are studying history or

archeology

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archaeology

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may need to

visit

Use synonyms

regularly

therefore

Linking Words

, paying entry fees

everytime

Replace the word

every time

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would be costly for them.

For example

Linking Words

, Visiting

Correct article usage

the Taj-Mahal

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Taj-Mahal

Correct your spelling

Taj Mahal

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Change preposition

apply

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a citizen can be just

one

Correct determiner usage

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time

Correct your spelling

one-time

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visit

Use synonyms

because they need to pay for it. Even though, just one

visit

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may not be enough. So we can say that paying for a monument or a

museum

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visit

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may be a big reason for less number of tourists. In conclusion, we can say that

Remove the comma

apply

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there are few disadvantages but definitely many advantages. The management of

Use synonyms

museum

Correct article usage

the museum

show examples

will definitely

be benifitted

Wrong verb form

benefit

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from the payments

recieved

Correct your spelling

received

. Utilising the collection for the

care takers

Correct your spelling

caretakers

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will go

long

Correct article usage

a long

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way in

safe guarding

Correct your spelling

safeguarding

show examples

the cultural and historical

places

Use synonyms

avesh1409Thu Mar 07 2024

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Task Achievement

For Task Achievement, ensure all parts of the prompt are fully addressed. Discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of charging admission in equal depth, providing a balanced viewpoint before stating your conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion

To improve your score in Coherence and Cohesion, focus on organizing your essay more effectively by using a wider range of linking phrases and topic sentences that clearly signal the main idea of each paragraph.

Task Achievement

Increase the use of specific, relevant examples to support your points. While you mentioned scenarios like the maintenance of museums, providing more concrete examples or citing specific studies could enhance your argument.

Task Achievement

Avoid generalizations and make sure that any claims are supported by data or specific examples. This will help solidify your argument and make it more compelling.

General

Review and correct grammatical errors, especially regarding article usage (‘the museum’ instead of ‘museum’) and verb agreement. This will increase the overall clarity and professionalism of your essay.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both the views and state your own opinion.

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