Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweight the disadvantages?
Museum
is a place where material of cultural and historical value is Change the article
A museum
exibited
. Some individuals are of the opinion that Correct your spelling
exhibited
such
places
should have free entry whereas
, others believe that entry to such
places
should be charged. I personally feel that,
it should be paid.
On one hand, When people pay to see Remove the comma
apply
such
artifacts then
they will understand the importance of those places
. Hence
, they will not damage those valuables. For example
, beggers
and rogues can be avoided. Correct your spelling
beggars
Secondly
, the money collected from public
can be utilised in many ways Add an article
the public
such
as,
Remove the comma
apply
overall
maintainence
, the salaries of the employees and Correct your spelling
maintenance
also
for the health and education of the children of employees. This
money will also
decrease the burden of extra expenses on government
as the Correct article usage
the government
museum
will be self-relient
.
Correct your spelling
self-reliant
On the other hand
, the
students who are studying history or Correct article usage
apply
archeology
may need to Change the spelling
archaeology
visit
regularly therefore
, paying entry fees everytime
would be costly for them. Replace the word
every time
For example
, Visiting Correct article usage
the Taj-Mahal
Taj-Mahal
Correct your spelling
Taj Mahal
by
a citizen can be just Change preposition
apply
one
Correct determiner usage
a
time
Correct your spelling
one-time
visit
because they need to pay for it. Even though, just one visit
may not be enough. So we can say that paying for a monument or a museum
visit
may be a big reason for less number of tourists.
In conclusion, we can say that,
there are few disadvantages but definitely many advantages. The management of Remove the comma
apply
museum
will definitely Correct article usage
the museum
be benifitted
from the payments Wrong verb form
benefit
recieved
. Utilising the collection for the Correct your spelling
received
care takers
will go Correct your spelling
caretakers
long
way in Correct article usage
a long
safe guarding
the cultural and historical Correct your spelling
safeguarding
places
.Submitted by avesh1409 on
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Task Achievement
For Task Achievement, ensure all parts of the prompt are fully addressed. Discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of charging admission in equal depth, providing a balanced viewpoint before stating your conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve your score in Coherence and Cohesion, focus on organizing your essay more effectively by using a wider range of linking phrases and topic sentences that clearly signal the main idea of each paragraph.
Task Achievement
Increase the use of specific, relevant examples to support your points. While you mentioned scenarios like the maintenance of museums, providing more concrete examples or citing specific studies could enhance your argument.
Task Achievement
Avoid generalizations and make sure that any claims are supported by data or specific examples. This will help solidify your argument and make it more compelling.
General
Review and correct grammatical errors, especially regarding article usage (‘the museum’ instead of ‘museum’) and verb agreement. This will increase the overall clarity and professionalism of your essay.
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