IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You should Chorleywood is a village near London whose population has increased steadily since the middle of the 19th century. The map below shows the development of the village.

You should Chorleywood is a village near London whose population has increased steadily since the middle of the 19th century. The map below shows the development of the village.
#chorleywood #village #london #population #middle #century #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The picture illustrates
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 history
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 Chorleywood
Village
Use synonyms
 during the year of 1868 until 1994. Over a century, areas and
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
show examples
 around Chorleywood Park and Golf Course were developed.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of the change happened during 19701994 in the east of the
village
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there were three developments between 1868
-
Correct word choice
and
show examples
1922.
Firstly
Linking Words
, an
area
Use synonyms
 was developed in the west of the
village
Use synonyms
 during 1868-1883.
Secondly
Linking Words
, another
area
Use synonyms
, larger than the first one, was developed in 1883-1922 and was located around the southeast of the park and golf course.
Thirdly
Linking Words
,
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
show examples
, crossing the southern
area
Use synonyms
 of the
village
Use synonyms
, was built in 1909
together with
Linking Words
 the Charleywood Station in the southeast
village
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, another three changes
were happened
Change to the active voice
happened
show examples
 between 1922 and 1994.
Firstly
Linking Words
, some areas were built in the east and west of the train station around 1922-1970.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
motorway
Correct article usage
the motorway
show examples
, crossing northwest to southwest, was developed in 1970.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, major
area
Use synonyms
 developments around the motorway were finished in the year of 1994.
Submitted by haaggurl_ on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "firstly, secondly".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words village, area with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Steadily
  • Pivotal events
  • Significant change
  • Transportation links
  • Commuter village
  • Residential areas
  • Commercial areas
  • Public facilities
  • Infrastructure
  • Environmental impact
  • Community life
  • Conservation efforts
  • Maintaining character
  • Vicinity
  • Unique aspects
  • Common challenges
What to do next:
Look at other essays: