The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two maps
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
the
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
show examples
of a public
park
named Grange
Park
at its first opening in 1920,
as well as
its present redevelopments. It is
appearent
Correct your spelling
apparent
that there
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
significantly
Change the adverb
significant
show examples
changes during
decades
Correct article usage
the decades
show examples
.
One
of the
promenient
Correct your spelling
prominent
variation
Change to a plural noun
variations
show examples
is the added rose garden surrounded by four seat areas
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
four directions,including west,south,east and west. It is located in the right centre of the whole
park
which used to be a fountain.In terms of the western part,the stage for musicians
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
replaced by an amphitheatre for concerts which relatively covers larger areas.Apart from that, a water feature
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
constructed at the bottom right-hand corner and the former glasshouse has
displaced
Add a missing verb
been displaced
show examples
.What's more,the previous pond for water plants situated at the top right-hand corner was taken place by a children's play area.
Except
Add the preposition
Except for
show examples
the north and south entrances,there are
also
some minor modifications of the Gange
Park
.
One
of them is the position adjustment of the rose gardens. There used to be three equal rose gardens in 1920 and the total amount has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased by
one
.The
westeastern
Correct your spelling
west eastern
west-eastern
one
remains unchanged but the central
one
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
extended,and the
one
previously near the pond was taken place by a cafe.
In addition
,there were
five seat
Add a hyphen
five-seat
show examples
areas sited
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
surround
Replace the word
surrounding
show examples
of the
park
,but now they are collected and
consentrated
Correct your spelling
concentrated
around the central rose garden.
Besides
,
a
Change the article
an
show examples
entrance underground car
park
is
also
built on the southeastern edge. In summary,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Grange
Park
has been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
dramatically redesigned after 1920,particularly for the
constructions
Fix the agreement mistake
construction
show examples
of the amphitheatre,central rose garden and water
feature
Fix the agreement mistake
features
show examples
,making it a more attractive place for tourists.
Submitted by 1320493878 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the changes. A more logical structure will help the reader follow your comparison more easily.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a good introduction and conclusion. However, try to ensure that the conclusion summarizes the key points more distinctly, emphasizing the contrast between the park in 1920 and today.
task achievement
While you addressed most features, ensure you clearly compare each aspect of the park from 1920 to the present. Use comparisons more explicitly to highlight the transformations.
task achievement
Your descriptions are comprehensive, but strive for clarity and precision in language. Avoid repetition and strive for more varied sentence structures. This will make your essay more engaging and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and typos. These can detract from the overall quality of your writing. Proofreading can help eliminate these issues.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: