Some people think that young children benefit from going to nursery school before starting primary school. Others think it is better for young children to stay all day with their families. Siscuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some people believe that toddler is better to start from
nursery
school
rather than primary
school
.
While
the others think staying all day with family is more beneficial.
Nursery
school
has more
structure
Replace the word
structured
show examples
programs for young
children
to learn better,
while
being with family is
also
important
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
early
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
to get to know family
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
better.
This
essay will discuss
further
about these two views
.
Rephrase
further.
show examples
Nowadays,
parents
are worried whether their
kids
' growth
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
left behind or not.
Therefore
,
nursery
schools offer different
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of programs for young
children
in order to maximize their learning.
In addition
, many
parents
put their
kids
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nursery
schools because they
also
want their
children
to more.
For example
, the
kids
are given small tasks to become responsible like cleaning their class. Not only that, they can have more friends in the
school
and learn to socialize.
On the other hand
, some
parents
believe it is better for their
kids
to stay with them until a certain age. Most of the
parents
think they know how to teach their
children
better rather than the
nursery
school
. Not only that, these
parents
do not want to spend more money on
early age
Add a hyphen
early-age
show examples
education as it costs too much.
Furthermore
, learning
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how to socialize and
responsible
Add a missing verb
be responsible
show examples
can be acquired at home.
For instance
, some
kids
apparently know how to fold their shirts, clean their
room
Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
show examples
, and make their
bed
Fix the agreement mistake
beds
show examples
.
In addition
to that, they still can socialize with
neighbor
Change the spelling
neighbour
show examples
kids
. To summarize, I believe
parents
know their
children
better than others. There are many ways to give
children
best
Add an article
the best
show examples
education.
Children
can adapt and grow in different
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of environments.
Therefore
, we should respect the
parents
' decision whether they want to keep their
children
around the families or put them in
nursery
schools.
Submitted by riki on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay has a clear and logical flow of ideas. Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas and paragraphs. Try to introduce each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and ensure that all sentences within a paragraph are coherent and support the main topic.
task achievement
For task achievement, make sure to fully address all parts of the task prompt. Clearly discuss both views presented in the prompt, and provide a reasoned argument for your own opinion. Include specific examples to support your points, and ensure that your opinion is clear and well-supported throughout the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • early education
  • social skills
  • learning environment
  • structured curriculum
  • prepare for
  • interactive learning
  • emotional support
  • bonding
  • individualized attention
  • homely atmosphere
  • flexible schedule
  • cultural values
  • familial values
  • personal opinion
  • weigh the pros and cons
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