Some people think that young children benefit from going to nursery school before starting primary school. Others think it is better for young children to stay all day with their families. Siscuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people believe that toddler is better to start from
nursery
school
rather than primary school
. While
the others think staying all day with family is more beneficial. Nursery
school
has more structure
programs for young Replace the word
structured
children
to learn better, while
being with family is also
important Change preposition
at in
in
early Correct your spelling
an
ages
to get to know family Fix the agreement mistake
age
member
better. Fix the agreement mistake
members
This
essay will discuss further
about these two views.
Nowadays, Rephrase
further.
parents
are worried whether their kids
' growth are
left behind or not. Change the verb form
is
Therefore
, nursery
schools offer different type
of programs for young Fix the agreement mistake
types
children
in order to maximize their learning. In addition
, many parents
put their kids
to
Change preposition
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
nursery
schools because they also
want their children
to more. For example
, the kids
are given small tasks to become responsible like cleaning their class. Not only that, they can have more friends in the school
and learn to socialize.
On the other hand
, some parents
believe it is better for their kids
to stay with them until a certain age. Most of the parents
think they know how to teach their children
better rather than the nursery
school
. Not only that, these parents
do not want to spend more money on early age
education as it costs too much. Add a hyphen
early-age
Furthermore
, learning on
how to socialize and Change preposition
apply
responsible
can be acquired at home. Add a missing verb
be responsible
For instance
, some kids
apparently know how to fold their shirts, clean their room
, and make their Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
bed
. Fix the agreement mistake
beds
In addition
to that, they still can socialize with neighbor
Change the spelling
neighbour
kids
.
To summarize, I believe parents
know their children
better than others. There are many ways to give children
best
education. Add an article
the best
Children
can adapt and grow in different type
of environments. Fix the agreement mistake
types
Therefore
, we should respect the parents
' decision whether they want to keep their children
around the families or put them in nursery
schools.Submitted by riki
on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay has a clear and logical flow of ideas. Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas and paragraphs. Try to introduce each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and ensure that all sentences within a paragraph are coherent and support the main topic.
task achievement
For task achievement, make sure to fully address all parts of the task prompt. Clearly discuss both views presented in the prompt, and provide a reasoned argument for your own opinion. Include specific examples to support your points, and ensure that your opinion is clear and well-supported throughout the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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