IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

the government spends too much money on space research while there are still alot of problems on the earth. towhat extent do you agree or disagree?

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According to
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 some, the millions spent annually on government-funded
space
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 projects would be better invested in addressing urgent issues on
this
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 planet.
Although
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 there are undoubtedly many problems on the
earth
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 that need tackling,I firmly believe that diverting financial resources from
space
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research
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 would be a mistake.These projects have brought and will continue to bring great benefits to humanity. An outstanding example of
this
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 is the remarkable improvement in our lives
due to
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 the development of satellite technology,a direct result of
space
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expedition
Fix the agreement mistake
expeditions
show examples
.Over several generations, satellites orbiting the
Earth
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 have not only facilitated scientific advances in areas
such
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 as weather monitoring and navigation but have
also
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 transformed our daily lives. Thanks to satellites, we have witnessed profound changes in the way we connect with each other using, the internet to bridge distances and access international news and TV broadcasts with unprecedented convenience.Satellite technology has interconnected the world,shaping the way we live today.
furthermore
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,cutting-edge technologies
initially
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 developed for
space
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research
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 have been successfully adapted and turned into everyday products for use on
Earth
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.These spin-offs cover a wide range from comfortable memory foam mattresses to tiny cameras in mobile phones,which were developed from efforts to make cameras smaller for use in spacecraft.These examples illustrate how innovations originally intended for
space
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research
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 continue to yield practical benefits to humankind. To summarize,there is no doubt that the expenditure on
space
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research
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 is enormous.Yet,upon examining the numerous ways humanity has benefited from it,I am convinced that it is money spent well. The positive impact spans all aspects of human life,from
earth
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 monitoring and industrial production to improving the quality of our lives and revolutionizing our leisure time.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure a logical flow between your paragraphs by using transition words and phrases more effectively. This will provide clearer connections between your main points.
coherence and cohesion
In your essay, make sure to introduce the topic clearly in your introduction and succinctly summarize your argument in your conclusion.
task achievement
To strengthen your essay, support your main points with more specific examples and evidence. This demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
general advice
Precise and varied language usage can enhance your clarity and engagement. Consider diversifying your vocabulary to articulate your ideas more vividly.
general advice
Be conscious of balancing both sides of the argument, especially if the prompt asks you 'to what extent do you agree or disagree.' Provide counterarguments to demonstrate an understanding of multiple perspectives.
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