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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people believe that online education can only supplement and enhance traditional classroom-based education while others are sure that online education is good by itself. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

#people #education #supplement
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Many
individuals
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 see online
education
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 as an addition and enhancement to conventional classroom-based
education
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.
On the contrary
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, opponents of
such
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 an idea say that online instruction can be perceived as a substantive form of
education
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.
While
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 I notice a high value of online teaching, I do concur with the notion that its main role is to improve classic face-to-face learning processes.
Nonetheless
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, in
this
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 essay, I will explore both points of view. For some
people
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 online
education
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 may be a reason why they fall behind and cannot absorb knowledge.
For example
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, there
are
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is
show examples
 evidence which
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 that younger
people
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, especially children, are not able to learn efficiently when they do not get involved in physical interactions. Some
individuals
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 may have innate peculiarities which require them to be closer to a teacher or a subject, they try to grasp.
Such
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people
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 may perform better when they see the emotions of their peers or teachers. For adults, it is possible to choose between online and offline forms of
education
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.
For instance
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, grown
individuals
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 do not always need to be involved in close inter-person interactions. They can keep their focus, wait for delayed feedback, and be self-organised, that they even find learning materials on their own. These
people
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 may use a variety of resources; starting from searching for information on the internet, to discussing certain topics on forums or gathering online meetings. In conclusion, online and traditional classroom-based forms of
education
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 are useful.
However
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, the classic approach to
education
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 targets all groups of
people
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,
whereas
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 contemporary online learning methods are mostly suitable for older
individuals
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.
Therefore
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, I think that online classes only complement conventional classes and help
individuals
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 develop during their later years
Submitted by gordenov196 on

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task achievement
To improve task response, ensure that your essay responds fully to all parts of the question. Your essay does well in discussing both views and giving your own opinion, but providing more specific examples to support your points would strengthen your argument. Consider integrating a wider range of examples that closely relate to the topic.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is well-organized and follows a logical structure. To enhance this further, work on linking ideas more clearly within and between paragraphs. Use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to ensure smoother transitions and to more clearly connect your main points and examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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