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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Stress-related sicknesses are constantly increasing. Do you agree? Discuss possible solutions.

#sicknesses
The maps illustrate the differences in school appearance from 1985 to
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 time. it is clear
seen
Verb problem
apply
show examples
from the maps that the car park and office
are remained
Wrong verb form
remain
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same place,
while
playing
Correct article usage
the playing
show examples
 zone
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
decreace
Correct your spelling
decrease
decreased
 in size over the whole period. One of the main changes is that the path from
entrance
Add an article
the entrance
show examples
 to other structures was longer in 1985,
while
 the path to
playing
Correct article usage
the playing
show examples
fileds
Correct your spelling
fields
 was cleared away
then
. To the northwest
og
Correct your spelling
of
playing
Correct article usage
the playing
show examples
 area the
library
 was replaced by learning resources and
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
 room. The classrooms were in the east of
library
Add an article
the library
show examples
 ,
afterwards
Add a comma
afterwards,
show examples
 it was transposed to the south of the former
library
 and experienced
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 expansion in size.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 the small car park which was in the northeast of the
library
 in 1985,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was knocked down to
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
show examples
. The second main change is that
playing
Correct article usage
the playing
show examples
 zone was larger in 1985
while
 it was
decteased
Correct your spelling
decreased
 in size and redeveloped to make way for other additional structures
such
 as a new pool and fitness centre. to the north of playing
fields
Add a comma
fields,
show examples
 the classroom block with 2 storeys was converted into a new classroom
bloxk
Correct your spelling
block
 with 3 storeys.
In addition
, to the south of a new classroom
block
Add a comma
block,
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
new classrooms were erected there. At present, the population
og
Correct your spelling
of
this
 school has increased
com=nsiderably
Correct your spelling
considerably
 from 1500 to 2300 students.
Submitted by raxdiana4 on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Make sure to provide a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your discussion effectively. Consider briefly restating the topic in your own words in the introduction, and summarizing your main points in the conclusion.
Paragraph Structure
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point or change. Use topic sentences at the start of each paragraph to indicate what it will cover.
Linking Words & Phrases
Use a range of linking words and phrases to show the relationships between ideas and to help your essay flow more smoothly. For example, 'furthermore' for adding information, 'however' for contrasting, and 'as a result' for showing consequences.
Task Response
Clearly state your opinion or stance on the topic in the introduction and support it with relevant examples and explanations throughout the essay. Make sure each body paragraph contributes to your argument.
Language Accuracy
Pay attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Errors can make your essay harder to understand and detract from your overall score. Consider revising your essay or practicing specific areas where you notice repeated mistakes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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