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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In your letter describe the situation explain your problems and why it is difficult to work say what kind of accommodation you would prefer

#accommodation #officer #college #situation #work
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
 letter to inform you that for the
last
 2 weeks, I've been facing a lot of noise issues in
room
 number 10. I am a medical student my name is Alax and my
room
 number is 11. As you know exams are coming next month and hearing so much loud music and disturbance coming from the next
room
 makes me feel so disturbed. It becomes hard for me to put my dedication and focus on my studies. I have tried to contact them and leave a notice on their door but I didn't get any response from them. I am looking for another accommodation which is more quiet and
Correct quantifier usage
more relax
show examples
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxed
show examples
. I am ready to move my
room
 wherever is best
according to
 your decision. I kindly request you to please take
this
 matter into consideration and help me to come out with a resolution. I hope to hear back from you soon. Kind regards, Alex
Submitted by shubhdeepkaur2 on

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Tone & Style
Make sure to consistently use formal language and maintain the formal tone throughout your letter. Avoid using colloquial expressions or overly casual language. This will enhance the suitability of your writing tone to the context of a formal letter.
Introduction & Purpose
Introduce your letter with a clear statement of purpose in the opening paragraph. While you briefly mention the situation, enhancing your introduction with a direct statement of your intention, such as requesting a change of accommodation, can make your position clearer right from the start.
Paragraph Structure
Organize your letter into clear paragraphs each focusing on a single point. For example, one paragraph can focus on describing the situation, another on explaining how it affects your studies, and a final one on stating your preferred solution. This will enhance the structure and clarity of your message.
Linking Words & Sentence Variety
Consider using a range of sentence structures and transitions to link your ideas more smoothly within and across paragraphs. Phrases such as 'Consequently', 'Furthermore', or 'As a result' can help to create a better flow and demonstrate your language proficiency.
Detail & Specificity
To ensure your letter is fully responsive to the task, it could be beneficial to include specific details about the kind of accommodation you would prefer. For example, mentioning a preference for a single room in a quieter area of the residence could make your request more concrete and actionable.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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