Reading story books is better for children than watching television or playing computer games. Do you agree or disagree?
Currently, people have different views as to whether watching
television
or playing computer games
is worse for young people than reading story books
. This
essay will express the benefits and drawbacks of this
situation.
On the one hand, Reading books
is the best activity in a parent's opinion, while
reading too much will lack real experience if they do not practise. This
is because reading only is not the best way to learn. For example
, some children
like to read books
when they are young, but when they grow up ,they are not successful individuals.
On the other hand
, playing computer games
can assist children
in practising in virtual situations, but it can be used in the real world. This
is due to
the fact that children
can resolve problems in the future. For instance
, some young people like to play games
such
as puzzle sudoku or crossword, but they can be used for their studying. Moreover
, watching television
is important media, and it has interesting content such
as animations, music shows, discovery or history channels. This
is because television
can choose to watch and it is easy to access. For instance
, when children
watch cartoons about knowledge, they can enjoy and learn together. As a result
, watching television
or playing computer games
can create educational value as well as
reading books
.
In conclusion, in my opinion, I disagree with this
topic because children
can receive many benefits from every activity if they notice good things in what they do. It does not always come from reading story books
.Submitted by name79sinlapa on
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Structure
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, reflecting on the topic well. However, further refining your argument structure can make your points more compelling.
Content
Including more specific examples to support your arguments can strengthen your essay. Consider integrating real-life scenarios or research findings to add depth.
Coherence
For better coherence, make sure each paragraph smoothly transitions into the next. Use linking words effectively to guide the reader through your arguments.
Language
Diversify your language by incorporating a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures. This will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
Analysis
You've successfully discussed both sides of the topic, showing an understanding of the argument.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint, reinforcing the essay's main points.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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