many musseums charge for admission while others are free. do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweight the disadvantages?
Nowadays, it is common for many
museums
to charge an entrance fee for the
Correct article usage
apply
visitors
. However
, the others
Correct quantifier usage
other
museums
do not doing
that. Change the verb form
do
This
happens because the museums
need to pay for developments, the employees, the bills, and the other payments. In my opinion, this
situation can give more benefits rather than drawbacks.
On the one hand, collecting an admission cost could give disadvantage
for the Correct article usage
a disadvantage
museums
. The main reason is that it can reduce the sum of visitors
. People tend to the museum
to make their thought
wider, and Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
also
they expect some refreshment when they come to this
place. Despite coming to the paid museum
, they prefer to visit the free admission museum
. For example
, some tourists who did
not have more Wrong verb form
do
budgets
will come to the free-entrance Fix the agreement mistake
budget
museum
.
On the other hand
, the museums
can get more advantages when they charge for admission. The profits that they are collected from visitors
are
can be used for them to establish the Unnecessary verb
apply
museum
. It is not only for the
development, it is Correct article usage
apply
also
can be use
as a charge for some of Change the verb form
be used
reparations
which occur accidentally by the Add an article
the reparations
visitors
. When the museum
is well-maintained and have
some development, the people will tend to come. Change the verb form
has
For instance
, some of
university students prefer to visit Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
museum
which have Fix the agreement mistake
museums
a
popularity caused Remove the article
apply
by
the better facilities rather than Change preposition
of
than
the worst Change preposition
apply
museum
.
All things I considered, the advantages of paid Fix the agreement mistake
museums
museums
are
overshadow the disadvantages. When Unnecessary verb
apply
this
circumstance may make the visitors
do
not want to visit them, Unnecessary verb
apply
this
can be profitable because of
the Change preposition
apply
maintains
and reparations bills are covered by the income.Replace the word
maintenance
Submitted by rifkiw1205 on
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Task Achievement
Make sure your essay directly addresses the question asked. Your introduction should outline the advantages and disadvantages briefly, then your body paragraphs should explore these in detail.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., moreover, therefore, consequently) and ensure paragraphs are clearly divided and each focus on a single main idea.
Task Achievement
Support your points with more detailed and specific examples. General examples are good, but real-world statistics, studies, or specific museum cases would strengthen your arguments.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite