the chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee nd tea buying and drinking habits

the chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee nd tea buying and drinking habits
The diagram illustrates how much
coffee
and tea was bought by people in five
cities
in the
last
4 weeks and their drinking tendencies.
Overall
, the number of people who bought fresh
coffee
in the
last
4 weeks was always the lowest proportion in all categories by far. In the opposite data, the figure for going to a coffeehouse for
coffee
or tea was seen as highest in 4
cities
, except for Adelaide, where residents would love to buy instant
coffee
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
going to a particular place or having fresh ones. Regarding Melbourne, Sydney, and Hobart, their preference for going to a cafe for
coffee
or tea was over 60% highest
ones
Fix the agreement mistake
one
show examples
compared to the amount from two other
cities
Brisbane around 55%, and especially in Adelaide only under 50%.
In addition
, there was a trend in buying instant
coffee
in Adelaide at exactly 50%, which was still smaller than 5% in Brisbane and Hobart. The figures for the remaining
cities
were about 46%. Over 40% of people prefer to order fresh
coffee
in two
cities
Sydney and Melbourne, as opposed to only under 40% in Hobart and even under 35% in the two
last
cities
. .
Submitted by nguyenhuyhoa1506 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, cities with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey
  • percentage
  • frequency
  • preference
  • health benefits
  • caffeine content
  • cultural significance
  • consumption
  • trends
  • venues
  • social aspects
  • beverage
  • shift
  • influence
  • comparison
  • analysis
  • discussion
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