IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You are planning to travel and would like someone to take care of your apartment while you are away. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter •explain why you will be away •ask your friend to take care of your apartment •describe the tasks you want your friend to do Begin your letter as follows: Dear……

#travel #someone #care #apartment #friend #•explain #•ask #•describe #tasks #dear……
Dear Kulbeer, I hope you are doing well. It has been a few days since we met and have some words but I was missing you a lot anyhow I have an urgency at work that requires me to fly to the US. So, I will be away from my home for two weeks. I have a meeting with the board of directors regarding the restructuring of the company. You know as a branch manager I have to make some reports and present in front of them. I am looking forward to your help because I will not be in my apartment. I am seeking your favour, if, you would be able to look after my indoor plants. Those plants need water once in 2 days. Except for
this
, I need you to please check my mailbox
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the time you go into my apartment to water my plants. It would be helpful for me. Yours Lovingly Jatinder
Submitted by jatinderpanaich328 on

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Task Achievement
Your letter is well-written and addresses all the points required by the task. Each point is clearly explained, making it easy to understand your requests and situation. To enhance your letter, consider providing more detailed information about how long you will need your friend to take care of the apartment and maybe add a suggestion on how they could manage any unforeseen issues that might arise. This would ensure that every aspect of the task is covered more comprehensively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your letter has a good structure, with a polite opening and a warm closing. You've managed to maintain coherence throughout the letter by logically ordering your paragraphs. To improve cohesion, you could make use of more linking words or phrases within and between paragraphs. This would help the transitions between your ideas smoother, enhancing the overall flow of your letter.
Writing Tone
You've done a great job of maintaining a polite and suitable tone throughout the letter, which is crucial for this task. This helps in making your requests sound friendly and considerate.
Logical Structure
The logical structure of your letter, with each paragraph focusing on a different aspect of your request, helps the reader understand your main points effortlessly. This clarity is very important in letter writing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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