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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think adults should learn practical skills by themselves, while others think they should learn with teachers in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #adults #skills #teachers #classroom
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There is
a
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an
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 argument going on these days. Some believe in adulthood, they should learn practical skills by themselves,
while
 others believe it should be taught by instructors in school. In my opinion, it should be learnt by themselves rather than taught by professionals in class, I will discuss both scenarios in
this
 essay before conclusion. On the one hand, learning from teachers is the best thing for anyone, you save a lot of time under their influence.
For instance
, we don't have to look for material and sources for our studies, they recommend
uthe
Correct your spelling
the
 best and on time. They are professionals and they have been working for long enough that their experience is a great source. Chances of improvement are higher, when we make mistakes they are there to guide us and correct us without any hassle.
However
,
this
 makes a person dependent
in
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on
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 life.
On the other hand
, Adults without any support, are mentally challenged to work better and do all the implications on their own and solve the problems they face in practicals.
This
 practice makes them work hard, and be independent in life. In the future whatever tasks they get, they do not need any guidance, they can think of ways to any problem and achieve their goals.
To conclude
, Both scenarios have their perks,
however
, a mature person should not need anyone to guide them. Nowadays, schools are
also
 encouraging students to learn and do their practicals on their own in yearly projects, just to improve their skills themselves. They are grown enough to think independently and learn. when they become dependent, they always need help in life in every situation.
Submitted by MK on

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language
Ensure you proofread your essay for grammatical errors and typos, such as 'There is a argument' which should be 'There is an argument', and 'u the best' instead of 'you the best'. This will make your essay more polished and professional.
task response
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more persuasive and relatable for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Add a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to clearly outline what your main argument will be. This helps to guide the reader through your essay.
task response
You have discussed both views, which is key to answering the task properly.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and decent. The conclusion summarizes your main points effectively.
task response
The ideas are relevant and on topic, which shows a good understanding of the essay question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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