Many people are using credit cards or loans to run up huge personal debts that they may be unable to repay. It should therefore be made more difficult for the individuals to borrow large amounts of money. What are your opinions on this?

We live in an age when many of us are dependent on
credit
cards or other
loans
to manage our day-to-day expenses. Most of the time people would not be able to pay them on time and they indulge in more and more arrears.
Moreover
, it is hard for everyone to get big
credit
in future. The following paragraphs discuss whether to use
credit
money or not and reach a reasonable conclusion. First of all, more people do not have enough financial knowledge, they misuse
credit
cards and
loans
to pay their expenses which leads to enormous debts.
Furthermore
, high personal debts can have detrimental effects on mental health and
overall
well-being, making it challenging for many
individuals
to lead normal lives.
Additionally
, with the access to easy money available, no one thinks about the repayment of
credit
and they just increase their spending and end up paying more interest and even face low
credit
scores for future borrowings. Let us explore some of the measures which need to be taken by the
credit
unions and agencies so they just provide the
credit
to those who are able to pay back. On top of that, financial institutions should implement stringent checks and balances to ensure that
individuals
are capable of repaying
loans
and
credit
card debts. Regulations can be put in place to cap the amount of
credit
available to
individuals
based on their income and existing financial commitments.
Moreover
, banks and
credit
agencies should provide them with mandatory financial education before granting large
loans
which can empower
individuals
to make better financial decisions.
Submitted by hazel@ on

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task achievement
Consider providing more relevant examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific instances where individuals have faced issues due to high personal debts or suggest concrete measures taken by other countries to limit excessive borrowing.
coherence cohesion
End your essay with a clear conclusion. Summarize your main points and reiterate your stance. This will leave a stronger impression on the reader and provide a well-rounded finish to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. You might benefit from using transitional words and phrases to link your ideas more clearly.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task and provides a balanced view by considering both the problems caused by excessive borrowing and suggesting potential solutions.
task achievement
Your points are relevant and you have addressed the issue of high personal debts effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is well-crafted and sets the stage for the discussion that follows.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial literacy
  • credit cards
  • loans
  • debts
  • mental health
  • well-being
  • stringent checks
  • balances
  • repaying
  • reckless spending
  • living beyond one's means
  • financial destabilization
  • regulations
  • cap (verb)
  • income
  • financial commitments
  • mandatory financial education
  • financial decisions
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