In many countries, people have health problems because they chose to live an unhealthy lifestyle. What are the reasons and solutions?
It is observed nowadays that people are experiencing health-related problems in many countries
due to
an unhealthy lifestyle. The reasons behind this
are individuals
being occupied with their work schedules, focusing on earning money to meet high living expenses,
and neglecting regular exercise. Remove the comma
apply
Additionally
, the prevalence of fast food
addiction, easily available and cheaper than other restaurant options, contributes to the issue.
Discussing those suffering from diseases due to
a lack of physical activity, their numbers have increased compared to previous times. The rise is attributed to the availability of remote jobs that require working from home, making individuals
lethargic and hindering their adherence to regular exercise routines, negatively impacting their bodies. However
, with the saying "modern problems require modern solutions" in mind, a significant portion of the population is engaging in new workout trends. Many people, tired of traditional exercises, are exploring alternatives such
as Zumba dance, which proves to be an enjoyable way to burn calories and stay fit. Therefore
, innovation and discovering new ways to maintain a regular workout routine seem to be the best approach.
Another contributing factor to individuals
experiencing health issues is their inclination towards consuming junk food
. People desire tasty and easily accessible food
without putting in much effort, even if it poses risks to their health. Unlike the
past when fast Change preposition
in the
food
was not widely available, it is now found on every street at affordable rates. Despite its popularity, individuals
fail to realize the severe effects on their bodies, including high blood pressure and heart diseases. The solution to this
issue is to prioritize consuming healthy foods such
as boiled food
, green vegetables, and meals providing the necessary energy with each component in recommended quantities.
In conclusion, prioritizing health is crucial, and one can improve it by considering the recommendations mentioned above, which include regular exercise and a healthy diet.Submitted by mannadarshpal13 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction. Your introduction should state the problem and outline your essay structure briefly.
coherence cohesion
Use cohesive devices appropriately. You've used some well, but a wider range and more varied devices would enhance your writing, such as comparatives, resultative conjunctions, and exemplifiers.
coherence cohesion
Structure paragraphs clearly. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by detailed examples and explanations.
task achievement
Cover all parts of the task. Ensure your essay responds directly to all parts of the question. Discussing both causes and solutions equally is crucial.
task achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary, related specifically to the topic. Technical and topical vocabulary can enhance your task response score.
task achievement
Provide more detailed, specific examples to support your arguments. Your examples should closely relate to and underscore your main points.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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