IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing important. What problems dose this shortage cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems?

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Deficiency
Correct article usage
The deficiency
show examples
 of drinkable
water
Use synonyms
 resources is one of the most intimidating concerns in the contemporary world. Owing to
this
Linking Words
 shortage, many nations have become vulnerable, falling short
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 supplying their people with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
water
Use synonyms
,
thus
Linking Words
, resulting in humanitarian calamities. It is my contention that despite ramifications of
this
Linking Words
 issue
are
Wrong verb form
being
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aggrevated
Correct your spelling
aggravated
aggregated
continously
Correct your spelling
continuously
, silver bullet solutions
such
Linking Words
 as government regulations on
water
Use synonyms
 conservation and
desalination
Use synonyms
 of
sea
Correct your spelling
seawater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
. First and foremost,
shortage
Correct article usage
the shortage
show examples
 of fresh
water
Use synonyms
 is a global problem which has multiple implications
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the humanity and environment.
Consequently
Linking Words
, in the present, many countries are struggling with the limited volume of drinkable
water
Use synonyms
 sources, compelling them to
making
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 life and death decisions. To exemplify
this
Linking Words
 statement, many countries in Africa have no means of access to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drinking
water
Use synonyms
, turning it into a scarce commodity.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 precious resources have always been
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the centre of conflicts among the tribes and nations, exacerbating tensions.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, another addressable shortcoming of
this
Linking Words
 problem is a formidable threat to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global food security,
enlargening
Verb problem
enlarging
show examples
 its margin to
further
Linking Words
 manipulate the agricultural industry. So to say,
water
Use synonyms
 scarcity can easily disrupt world economic activities. To address these challenges, governments can play a role in implementing stringent regulations to promote smart
water
Use synonyms
 usage by completely revamping
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 infrastructure.
For instance
Linking Words
, the quantity of potable
water
Use synonyms
 allocated per household can be controlled through the use of
water
Use synonyms
 meters up to a predetermined limit, encouraging individuals to use
water
Use synonyms
 thoughtfully and conservatively.
Additionally
Linking Words
, developing alternative
water
Use synonyms
prufiying
Correct your spelling
purifying
profiling
 techniques like
sea
Correct your spelling
seawater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
desalination
Use synonyms
 can be a pragmatic way to satisfy the increasing
water
Use synonyms
 demand.
For instance
Linking Words
,
couuntries
Correct your spelling
countries
 like Israel and UAE where there are extreme draughts experiencing, made heavy investments in the construction of
desalination
Use synonyms
 plants to harness ocean
water
Use synonyms
 to meet with internal demand. In conclusion, the shortage of
water
Use synonyms
 presents multifaceted challenges with significant implications
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 humanity and
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
economic
Replace the word
economy
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.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, through
conserted
Correct your spelling
concerted
 efforts by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and innovative
water
Use synonyms
purifications
Change the noun form
purification
show examples
 techniques like
desalination
Use synonyms
, its negative impact can be
offsetted
Correct your spelling
offset
show examples
.

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introduction conclusion present
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, but ensure that they are more impactful by clearly stating the essay's aim in the introduction and succinctly summarizing the main points in the conclusion.
logical structure
Improve logical structure by ensuring a clear progression of ideas from paragraph to paragraph. Use linking words and phrases to aid in the flow of argument and make the relationships between sentences more apparent.
supported main points
While main points are supported, aim to include more specific examples and evidence to strengthen arguments. This will also aid in task achievement by making the ideas clearer and more comprehensive.
complete response
Ensure that the essay completely responds to all parts of the task. Each question posed in the prompt should be addressed thoroughly.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and flesh out ideas further. Consider breaking down complex ideas into more digestible parts to ensure they are comprehensive and easily understood by the reader.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. These examples can provide concrete evidence to strengthen your points and make your essay more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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