Watching a live performance such as a play, concert or sporting event is more enjoyable than watching the same event on TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Attending a live performance,
for example
, a play, concert, or sporting event, is considered more entertaining than watching it on TV. I partially agree with
this
idea.
Although
attending live performances is expensive or
people
need to spend a lot of money to go to other cities, many
people
want to enjoy the amusing vibe and hope to meet with the famous singer or athlete in real life. Watching live performances like plays, concerts, and sporting
events
is more enjoyable. To be more clear, there is a chance that singing
together with
famous musicians and singers will attract thousands of
people
at the same time, and many fans hope to meet with famous
people
.
As well as
sports
events
like football, basketball, tennis, and so on, hundreds of thousands of fans come to watch them directly because supporting their favourite team together is unimaginable.
For instance
, almost ninety thousand
people
attended the famous hip-hop singer Eminem's concert in London, and the tickets were expensive, but
people
preferred to come and sing together.
Thus
, going to
events
is more enjoyable, and many individuals choose to attend.
However
, going to concert venues or buying tickets for sports
events
is very expensive, and
people
need to go to other countries or cities. To be more precise, some
people
would choose to stay at home and watch it sitting in a chair. As an example, it is
also
enjoyable to watch at home with family and friends; they create a piece of the vibe of those
events
while
watching live broadcasts.
As a result
, it could be much more expensive to watch live performances abroad, and it might be a problem for some individuals. In conclusion, live music or sports
events
are more entertaining;
however
, their prices cannot be affordable.
Therefore
, I partially agree with
this
opinion.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
For a more complete response, it's beneficial to further explore both sides of the argument equally. While you have touched upon the advantages and disadvantages of live performances, consider adding more depth to the aspect of watching events on TV.
coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that transitions between ideas are smoother. For example, you can use more linking words like 'in addition,' 'furthermore,' or 'on the other hand.'
coherence cohesion
Ensure that every argument is solidly backed up with detailed, specific examples, and explain how they support your point. This will make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which help the reader to follow the main ideas.
task achievement
Your use of real-life examples, like Eminem's concert, helps to illustrate your points more vividly and makes your argument more relatable.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Atmosphere
  • Immersion
  • Engaging
  • Memorable
  • Sensory experience
  • Emotional connection
  • Nuances
  • Authenticity
  • Excitement
  • Spontaneous
  • Improvisation
  • Social interaction
  • Convenience
  • High-definition visuals
  • Surround sound
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