IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The importance of biodiversity is being more widely recognised as increasing number of species come under threat. What can be done to maintain biodiversity?

#importance #biodiversity #species #threat
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Clean-cutting of forests is becoming a painful problem for all of us. When trees are
exploitation
Replace the word
exploited
show examples
, there are
apply
Verb problem
apply
show examples
four main immediate effects, these we cannot foresee unpredictable consequences.
Firstly
Linking Words
, heavy logging equipment compresses the ground. The logging sneak is a big problem we are most interested
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
 When trees
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 destroyed excessively, the soil becomes hard and 'baked' making a lost source of life nearby trees. Eventually,
this
Linking Words
 makes many natural disasters like flooding,...
Secondly
Linking Words
, fewer roots hold the top soils in
apply
Wrong verb form
applied
show examples
 place.
This
Linking Words
 leads to soil erosion, the land becomes erosion, and
this
Linking Words
 looks
apply
Verb problem
apply
show examples
low quality and compromised.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, increased risk of burning. Nowadays, there are so many forests be burning because dry.
In other words
Linking Words
, the micro-organisms will feed them with leftover materials.
This
Linking Words
 leads to degraded vegetation. The final is plants would return less moisture to the air. Less moisture in the air, there is less precipitation and an increased incidence of drought.
This
Linking Words
 problem makes many plants susceptible to degradation or worse
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
extinction. From all of the immediate effects we summarise, I think the biological system will be lost If we don't have environmental protection measures.
Submitted by thuhong.68hnue on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Introduction: Start your essay with a brief introduction that defines the topic and presents your stance or the perspective you will discuss. Link this introduction directly to the question asked.
Task Response
Conclusion: Ensure you include a conclusion that summarizes your main points and reiterates your position clearly. This helps in reinforcing your arguments and provides a closure to your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Logical Structure: Work on creating a more logical and organized flow of ideas. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main idea and support it with relevant examples or explanations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Transitions: Improve the use of transition words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly and help the reader follow your argument more easily. Transition words such as 'furthermore,' 'however,' and 'in conclusion' can be useful.
Task Response
Specific Examples: Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This not only strengthens your argument but also demonstrates a broader understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: