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Writing Samples
Band 8

Human activities have negative effects on plants and animal species. Some people think that it is too late to do anything about this problem. Other people believe that effective measures can be taken to improve this situation. Discuss both views and give your opinions

#activities #effects #plants #species #people #measures #situation
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It is true that a great number of wildlife species are adversely affected by human activities. Some contend that it is pointless to address
this
 problem as no solution will be effective,
whereas
 others believe that
people
 can still adopt some visible measures to improve the situation. In
this
 essay, both sides will be explored, followed by my opinions. On the one hand, the idea that there is nothing for humans to do to lessen their influence on natural worth is grounded in certain valid points. Proponents of
this
 view argue that numerous wild species have become extinct before human intervention.
This
 is evident in how dinosaurs were killed off
due to
 an asteroid which attacked the Earth 65 million years ago, long before the presence of humans.
In addition
, various endangered animals are predicted to vanish despite measures taken by
people
.
This
 is because the food chains are negatively affected by the disappearance of certain vegetation and animals in ecosystems, causing the shortage of food and the unstoppable death of other organisms.
On the other hand
, others believe that
people
 can still employ some effective solutions to overcome environmental concerns.
Firstly
, governments around the world have the power to enact and enforce regulations and laws to protect the natural world. To illustrate, the Vietnamese government introduced the industrial waste regulation to prevent factories from discharging waste into rivers and oceans without a proper treatment process,
thus
 successfully improving the quality of water around the industrial zones to protect aquatic creatures.
Secondly
, many conservation efforts have shown that it is possible to protect and restore wildlife and their habitats. Examples include the recovery of the bald eagle in the U.S. and the preservation of giant panda habitats in China. In conclusion,
while
 some damages are irreversible, it is not too late for
people
 to implement effective solutions to protect wildlife species. Humans have become the primary factor contributing to the decline of wild plants and animals, so it is our ethical and moral responsibility to address
this
 problem.
Although
 the challenges are immense, they are not unsurmountable and our future depends on our commitment to protecting biodiversity.
Submitted by nguyenlyacbd on

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task achievement
Ensure the introduction briefly outlines both views and your opinion when the question prompt specifically asks for it. Adding a sentence regarding your stance in the introduction would strengthen the overall task response.
coherence cohesion
Try to more clearly signpost your arguments and their relevance to the question throughout the essay. This could involve using phrases like 'In support of the belief that...', which would reinforce how each paragraph relates to the question at hand.
coherence cohesion
Include a wider range of linking words and cohesive devices to improve the flow of your essay. While the structure is good, utilizing a greater variety of transitions can enhance readability and coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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