Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Parents around the world have controversial ideas when it comes to allowing their children to

use

Use synonyms

mobiles on weekdays. Some argue that it should be prohibited during school days

while

Linking Words

others do not mind using it.

This

Linking Words

essay will explore both sides of the argument, give clear examples and state why there is an alternative

advantages

Change the noun form

advantage

show examples

to using mobiles.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the main reason to prevent is the cause of distractions. unmature people spend overtime on phones which results in less focus on class, poor learning and eventually leading to bad performance. The distractions that

occurs

Change the verb form

occur

show examples

include,

gamming

Correct your spelling

gaming

show examples

, watching YouTube, snapping, TikTok and several others.

For example

Linking Words

: recent news indicated that all these social media have been

proved

Correct your spelling

proven

show examples

to decrease the performance of

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

as well as

Linking Words

mature adults.

This

Linking Words

is a major issue.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, we can not deny that these technologies

however

Linking Words

have positive effects

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

gaining more knowledge. Intelligent students

use

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

as a beneficial way and spend their break times improving their level of knowledge, various ways to do

this

Linking Words

is to

use

Use synonyms

free websites and free channels with high-quality education backgrounds.

For instance

Linking Words

, several teaching places, give

Correct your spelling

assessments

assiegments

Correct your spelling

assignments

via

Change preposition

apply

show examples

online and even extra lectures in order to make the

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

child busy

with

Change preposition

show examples

thier

Correct your spelling

their

free

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

To conclude

Linking Words

, I support that the

use

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

phone should be allowed in condition to monitoring regarding the time spent and what is used for. there is a debate around the world about using mobile phones in children

Change preposition

apply

show examples

school days that it brings more distraction and others say can elevate

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

knowledge.

However

Linking Words

, we should focus on using the phone and at the same time not allowing the negative effect.

AbdulrahimmohamudaliSat Mar 09 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Focus on developing a clear logical structure. While your essay has an introduction, body, and conclusion, the flow between ideas can be improved. Try to use more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your introduction and conclusion are both strong. Your introduction sets the stage but could be more concise and clear in stating the essay's direction. Your conclusion does well in summarizing your stance but can be strengthened by reinforcing the key arguments made.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with more specific examples or evidence. While you provide some examples, elaborating on them or adding more detailed scenarios could bolster your argument and make your essay more convincing.

task achievement

Ensure your essay fully responds to all parts of the task. You've provided a balanced discussion, but further elaboration on your own opinion with supporting reasons would enhance your task achievement.

task achievement

Strive for clearer and more comprehensive explanations of your ideas. Some parts of your essay may benefit from more detailed explanations or a clearer expression of your thoughts. Simplify complex sentences and clarify your points to increase understanding.

task achievement

Use relevant and specific examples to back up your arguments. The inclusion of more diverse and detailed examples could make your case stronger and more persuasive. Consider drawing from a wider range of sources or hypothetical scenarios.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Distraction
Cyberbullying
Concentration
Emergency communication
Digital literacy
Educational resources
Social development
Self-regulation
Enforcement
Socioeconomic status
Technology access
Learning apps
Screen time
Peer interaction
School policy

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities . others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that others measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sports materials are considered tools for increasing public fitness. Therefore, some communities have suggested increasing the number of play machinery, while others believe other measures are necessary because the effect of play equipment on public strength is not so much. I discuss these both views and represent my viewpoint. On one hand, sport is one of the most important tools for increasing or gaining vigour because due to various kinds of movement and practice such as running, jumping,walking or dancing, the heart system and the vessel systems improve. In addition, the spirit and mentality of society improve through hobby practices which increases the mental agility of athletes. Due to these arguments, some crowd think increasing fun appliances encourages the community to do entertainment which is helpful for their well-being condition. On the other hand, there are different factors which increase energy including healthy food, enough sleep, a free mind, peace of mind, lack...
7
band
Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company or organization. Might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
To begin, these days a lot of people prefer to work for themselves rather than for a corporation or organization. It has some pros and cons which I will discuss in the bullet points in the forthcoming paragraphs.
7
band
You recently learned that a close friend of yours has had a baby, and you purchased a gift for the baby. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, you should: Congratulate them on the arrival of the baby. Describe the gift you have chosen for the baby. Suggest arrangements for your visit to deliver the gift.
What a great news to start the day!! Congratulations on the arrival of your 1st baby. Guess you would be naming him as Kevin, as you mentioned earlier. Between convey my warm wishes to your wife Leena as well. Hope she is recovering well now.
6.5
band
Some people claim that not enough of the waste from home is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for government to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of the waste?
Some citizens have expressed their opinion about the lack of responsibility of other citizens to recycle debris at their place of residence and have asked for legislation in this regard. In this essay, I discuss the necessity of recycling rubble and analyze the reasons for the lack of recycling at shelters. Finally, I express my viewpoint. To start with, the public is different in their characters. Some communities pay attention to the environment and play a significant role in cleaning the earth and air from pollution regardless of rules. They love the environment by themselves and study different methods of preserving nature. However, the number of this group is not so much. This group of crowd are classified as adults in humanity. Other nations are not mature in most of the fields of civilization. Hence, some workshops are essential for them to be familiar with the importance of recycling junk and the methods of recycling trash at residences. For example, workshops for students ...
6
band
Some teachers say students should be organised into groups to study. Others argue students should be made to study alone. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is widely known that students and educationists search for the most efficient method to study. Some teachers assert that group study is a more efficient way, while others deem that studying alone increases concentration. This essay will explore both notions and provide my perspective as a conclusion.

Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities . others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that others measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company or organization. Might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from home is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for government to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of the waste?

Some teachers say students should be organised into groups to study. Others argue students should be made to study alone. Discuss both views and give your opinion.