Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #phones #school

Parents around the world have controversial ideas when it comes to allowing their children to

use

mobiles on weekdays. Some argue that it should be prohibited during school days

while

others do not mind using it.

This

essay will explore both sides of the argument, give clear examples and state why there is an alternative

advantages

Change the noun form

advantage

show examples

to using mobiles.

To begin

with, the main reason to prevent is the cause of distractions. unmature people spend overtime on phones which results in less focus on class, poor learning and eventually leading to bad performance. The distractions that

occurs

Change the verb form

occur

show examples

include,

gamming

Correct your spelling

gaming

show examples

, watching YouTube, snapping, TikTok and several others.

For example

: recent news indicated that all these social media have been

proved

Correct your spelling

proven

show examples

to decrease the performance of

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

as well as

mature adults.

This

is a major issue.

Furthermore

, we can not deny that these technologies

however

have positive effects

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

gaining more knowledge. Intelligent students

use

this

as a beneficial way and spend their break times improving their level of knowledge, various ways to do

this

is to

use

free websites and free channels with high-quality education backgrounds.

For instance

, several teaching places, give

Correct your spelling

assessments

assiegments

Correct your spelling

assignments

via

Change preposition

apply

show examples

online and even extra lectures in order to make the

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

child busy

with

Change preposition

show examples

thier

Correct your spelling

their

free

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

To conclude

, I support that the

use

this

phone should be allowed in condition to monitoring regarding the time spent and what is used for. there is a debate around the world about using mobile phones in children

Change preposition

apply

show examples

school days that it brings more distraction and others say can elevate

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

knowledge.

However

, we should focus on using the phone and at the same time not allowing the negative effect.

Submitted by Abdulrahimmohamudali on Sat Mar 09 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Focus on developing a clear logical structure. While your essay has an introduction, body, and conclusion, the flow between ideas can be improved. Try to use more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your introduction and conclusion are both strong. Your introduction sets the stage but could be more concise and clear in stating the essay's direction. Your conclusion does well in summarizing your stance but can be strengthened by reinforcing the key arguments made.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with more specific examples or evidence. While you provide some examples, elaborating on them or adding more detailed scenarios could bolster your argument and make your essay more convincing.

task achievement

Ensure your essay fully responds to all parts of the task. You've provided a balanced discussion, but further elaboration on your own opinion with supporting reasons would enhance your task achievement.

task achievement

Strive for clearer and more comprehensive explanations of your ideas. Some parts of your essay may benefit from more detailed explanations or a clearer expression of your thoughts. Simplify complex sentences and clarify your points to increase understanding.

task achievement

Use relevant and specific examples to back up your arguments. The inclusion of more diverse and detailed examples could make your case stronger and more persuasive. Consider drawing from a wider range of sources or hypothetical scenarios.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Distraction
Cyberbullying
Concentration
Emergency communication
Digital literacy
Educational resources
Social development
Self-regulation
Enforcement
Socioeconomic status
Technology access
Learning apps
Screen time
Peer interaction
School policy

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?
In this modern era, new technology is being invested by governments in many countries to deal with the problems in society. This situation occurs because of the demanding in reducing time spent on solving problems. This writer believes that the development in modern technology is a suitable use of government money.
7
band
You recently did a short cookery course. The cookery school has asked for your feedback on this course. Write a letter to the course director at the cookery school. In your letter, Describe what you enjoyed about the course Say how muchcooking you've done since the source suggest another cookery course you'd like the school to offer
I am writing this letter regarding my recent experience in a cooking class. I enrolled for a 3-month cooking course at your institution, which ended on the 27th of July, 2024.m.
4.5
band
computé and A.I.technologyảe increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enchance the learning experience? Is this a positive or nagative development?
In recent years, computers and AI technology have become popular for online discipline . Other people ask a lot of questions about whether can AI enhance the learning experience . The writer will talk about that and positive or negative development . Can be understood that computers or AI increasingly in social will be more beneficial to children who are studying at other schools like to make them feel interested and help them grow their knowledge with a lot of it on the internet furthermore , will help more students connected to other by the internet , make their study grow rapidly. For example , in Vietnamese country are a lot of ways to study at home on the internet or online literacy and that is very improved. With more benefits will have disadvantages , if using the internet will have some bad physical information. Moreover , online study or studying on the internet will make some of them become bad people in society when they get bad information on the internet . For example ,...
6.5
band
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons…experience.
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. I agree with this view and believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
6
band
Some people think that young people should spend free time with families instead of outside entertainment, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Have you reflected on social in this generation day by day development faster, that young people spend time on things they feel happiness? Some people argue that young people should spend free time with families instead outside entertainment, while others disagree with that. From my viewpoint, I believe some things have reasons but this young generation they, not too much focus spending free time with families.

Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

computé and A.I.technologyảe increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enchance the learning experience? Is this a positive or nagative development?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons…experience.

Some people think that young people should spend free time with families instead of outside entertainment, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.