IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, people are having children at later age in life. What are the reasons? Do the advantage outweigh disadvantages?

#countries #people #children #age #life #advantage
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is undeniable that in many parts of the
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
 couples do not prefer to have kids in
early
Add an article
the early
an early
show examples
 phase of their life. There are numerous causes behind
this
Linking Words
 ongoing issue
such
Linking Words
 as Economic factors . I believe that
although
Linking Words
 baby planning at
later
Add an article
a later
show examples
 age may generate
generation
Correct article usage
a generation
show examples
 gap, parents get an opportunity to spend a longer time with their children. To commence with, there are various factors which
forces
Change the verb form
force
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people to delay family planning and the prominent one is . The younger couples have
Submitted by sunnygarg710 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Complete your essay to ensure full coverage of the topic. Your response ended abruptly without covering all necessary aspects, including complete reasoning and a conclusion.
task achievement
Work on developing your ideas fully with clear and relevant examples. This will help strengthen your argument and provide a more comprehensive view on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. This structure helps guide the reader through your arguments and conclusions effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Develop a logical flow in your essay. Each paragraph should build off the one before it, smoothly transitioning from one idea to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices to link your ideas. Such as transitional phrases, conjunctions, and references. This will make your essay more coherent.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: